Sexual Health
When I was seven months pregnant, my mother-in-law came to my house and said a word, which made me shiver
My husband and I have been in love for 6 years, married for 2 years, and my child is 15 months old this year. What I want to say is the conflict with my mother-in-law. My home is in the city, and my husband's home is in the countryside. When I first met him, he served as a soldier in the army. Because I chased him when I was with my husband, so when I got married, I bought a house, decorated it, and got married. My mother-in-law only gave me 30000 yuan. At the beginning of marriage, I had a good relationship with her. I found pregnant in the third month after marriage. When I was pregnant in the seventh month, I knew I was pregnant with a girl, and my mother-in-law was dissatisfied with me.
Since we were married and I got pregnant, my mother-in-law has never come to my home in the countryside (to explain here, because my husband was still in the army at that time, so we bought the house in the city, and the house decoration was all done by my sister and my brother-in-law for help). I discussed with my husband to take over my mother-in-law in advance, adapt to the environment, and when she came, she would not be allowed to leave. She would wait until she gave birth to the baby, My kindness led to a series of subsequent contradictions.
Because my mother-in-law didn't take much money to buy a house at that time, I certainly wouldn't care about my mother's money. So my family borrowed 70000 yuan from others after adding up my own salary, which was enough for the down payment to buy a 40-meter house with one room and one living room. Of course, before my mother-in-law came, my husband said to set up a bed in the living room. I told my husband at that time that there was no need to buy a bed. My husband came back one week in the army, one night a day, and usually he didn't come back, You can let your mother-in-law live with me in the bedroom. Buying a bed is also a waste. Besides, at that time, the down payment was borrowed, and it was not paid back yet. My husband also agreed. But when my mother-in-law came, I had to let her husband buy a bed, and let her buy a double bed of 1.5 meters. I didn't agree. Because of this, my mother-in-law picked on me to quarrel with my husband. When I was pregnant for more than seven months, my mother-in-law said that I could not quarrel with my son. My son is very filial. It is so easy for you to go out of a family and enter a family. You bring a child... At that time, I was trembling with anger, but thought that Bi was the mother of my husband, so I also put up with it, just let my husband send her back.
Then I talked to my husband about having a baby, so I didn't need his mother to come. In this case, his mother's coming was not happy, but my mother-in-law said that it was not good to not come. It would be very humiliating if my mother-in-law didn't come to serve my daughter-in-law in the countryside when she gave birth to a child. Unexpectedly, on the ninth day of my caesarean section, my mother-in-law told my husband that my mother hated him for being poor and his husband for being uneducated. When my mother came to see me, my husband gave my mother a look. After I asked my parents to go back, I went to war with my husband. My mother-in-law helped her son and accused me. At this time, my husband saw that his mother was also involved, so he wouldn't let his mother argue any more. My husband stopped his mother five times loudly, and his mother didn't make a sound. I said at that time that my husband would let your mother go, and we would divorce if your mother didn't leave. I deserved your mother. I bought clothes for your mother. Your mother didn't like to look good, and you bought gold earrings for your mother. Your mother was too small. Your mother was not worthy of respect, and her girl didn't even say to buy earrings for him, It's too small for my daughter-in-law to buy gold earrings and clothes. Remember, I won't buy her a needle in the future. Your mother must go.
After hearing me drive her away, the mother-in-law came to apologize and said that she could not go back. Her daughter-in-law didn't finish the delivery. She didn't have face when she went back. In addition, her husband begged me, and finally managed to cope with the delivery. I let them go after the delivery, and she never came again. The day before the Mid-Autumn Festival, she would go to her daughter's house and stay at my house for the night. The next day, she had to leave. I said you should not leave. After the festival, leave after the festival. She said nothing and left. My husband was in a bad mood after she left. My mother didn't go to dinner at night when she cooked dinner, and didn't go to my mother's house to pick me up and the children.
On the second day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, I had a big fight with my husband. He pressed me down and slapped me seven or eight times. I didn't say a word at that time. When he got up, I took the stool and hit it. It was true that every time he ran to his head, his arm was blocked by his arm, and his arm was swollen. He said that his fingers were not easy to use. After we finished playing, I called my mother-in-law and asked her what she meant? Do you want us to divorce or something? What to do? Every time we meet, we have to provoke us to fight. Whether she comes to my house or we go back to her house, she will fight every time we see her. At that time, my mother-in-law asked me to be speechless. I said that this house was saved by us little by little. You know more about how much money you take for buying a house than anyone else. It's not your turn to decide. I'm the hostess. Don't come to my house again. After that, I will ask my husband to go through the divorce procedure, My husband said nothing. I said that my mother raised me for more than 30 years. I didn't want you to beat me. My mother provided food, drink and money. Your family can't see anything. If you still beat me, you must divorce.
Later, my husband promised me that my mother-in-law would not come to my house when she was old, but go to her husband and sister, and we would pay a little pension every month. I just reluctantly forgave him. Brother Shan, you said I did it right
reply:
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a sensitive existence. The quality of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law directly affects the stability of the relationship between husband and wife. Therefore, it is really important to manage the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law well.
With regard to your mother-in-law coming to your house in advance and asking for a bed in the living room, I personally think that her request is not excessive. After all, you have your idea, and the old man has his idea. She has no blood relationship with you, and she may have a short time with you, and cannot achieve the intimacy you want. If the old man comes to sleep with you, she must not adapt. Besides, it is not convenient. The old man should have his own independent space, and you need to stand on the old man's side to think.
Of course, when you quarrel with your husband and your mother-in-law comes out to protect her short, it is really unwise for her to stand by her son in time. Another point is that your mother-in-law should not really value men over women. It's true that your mother-in-law has problems with your mother-in-law, but as a younger generation, be more tolerant and considerate. If you don't see her in the same light, you will avoid the tension between husband and wife caused by the rigid relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Unfortunately, you didn't stop the loss in time. As a result, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law deteriorated further and eventually led to a war between husband and wife. In fact, it's really not worth considering carefully.
There is a saying that you love your husband and your husband. There is no way. Since you love your husband deeply, and since you have chosen this man, you and your husband have no real contradiction. So you should look at your husband's face and choose to accept your mother-in-law. Whether she is cruel or overbearing, you have no choice, otherwise, you will only let the family fall into the middle of estrangement.
Say something you don't like to hear. In fact, it's not their duty for the elderly to serve the baby or take care of the children. You should not feel it in your heart, nor should you talk less about the money she took when you married. After all, you chose it voluntarily. You can choose the parents-in-law who can give you more money, but you didn't choose. Since we choose such a family, we will accept our fate, and once you carry this in your heart to make yourself angry, it is easy to ignite bad emotions, and it is easy to create deadlock in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. How can we get along well.
In a family, we should not just talk about our own reasons. If we are defending our own interests from our own perspective, the contradictions will never be reconciled. Many times, we will say tolerance, understanding and compromise. When should we do this? Of course, when there are conflicts of interest and contradictions. If we are in peace with each other, do we need to be tolerant.
In any case, since the marriage will continue and the husband and wife want to live in harmony and family happiness, in the face of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we should still know how to clear up the past, eliminate the gap and try to ease the relationship. Of course, the way to get along with the elderly is to keep the necessary distance. The obligation to do is to neither go too close nor too far, and grasp the scale and measure.
What I want to say to you is that no matter what, your husband should not fight against you, and you should not kill him. It may also be that some of your actions irritated your husband, or that he was misunderstood. In fact, every husband is sandwiched between his mother and his wife in his marriage. His biggest wish is to hope that his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are close and safe; The most fearful thing is that the two women he thinks are the most important in life fight each other and hurt the innocent.
So, for the happiness and harmony of the family, be more grateful and tolerant!