Q:
My husband and I have been married for more than eight years. We are campus love. When we were in college, we were tired of being together every day. In addition to sleeping and bathing, we stuck together almost every moment. All the students laughed at us as conjoined babies. Where do you want to get it? After graduation, the two people have to leave.
He went back to his hometown to take over the business at home, and I applied for a good foreign company in the local area of the school. I didn't want to go back to his hometown with him. After all, it was a small place, and I prefer to live in a big city. At this time, I found that the pursuit of the two people is not the same.
I advised him that there are many opportunities in big cities and he can come here to develop. But he and his family were left behind, saying that I don't know the way to do business. Don't talk nonsense. The resources and contacts here in their hometown are stable. They feel that it is good to be rich when you are young. There is no need to go to big cities to grab resources. They may not have a place. But from graduation to now, my annual income has basically been the same as that of his small businesses at home. In a few years, my status will only surpass him.
It's hard for me to give up and go back to my hometown to be an idle landlady. My daughter is 5 years old this year, and I have been taking her with me. My parents are helping me. He came to see his daughter when he was free. In recent years, because of the problem of different places, neither of them could persuade the other. My relationship with him has been much worse. We all have feelings and often have nothing to say. He didn't take me seriously. He didn't care about anything he discussed with him. Let me make my own decision.
Look at the colleagues around us. They are all one-on-one. No one has lived apart as long as we have. I really like and am used to the life here. I don't understand what is the benefit of being stuck in such a small town? How hard did I come to the big city from a small place? I hope my children can relax a little. What's wrong with that?
This year, when he came back home for the Spring Festival, it was obvious that he was colder. We didn't even have any skin relatives. During the period, I tried to hold his hand, but he avoided me. It felt like a job, but he smiled a little for his daughter.
Teacher, I really have no idea. What is the meaning of my marriage? Why do two people with such good feelings get to this point? I really want to have a happy family together. When will the separation end?
A:
Many remote wives have ignored that men sometimes have more emotional desire than women. Women can get emotional comfort through language communication, but men need a more practical family atmosphere. If you are away for a long time, the more dangerous is the intervention of a third party.
Often, one party does not realize that the other party has changed his mind and is still struggling or dying. If the separated spouse is impatient, not enthusiastic, not active when meeting or talking, or even resists or rejects some requests for intimacy, it is particularly important to pay attention to the fact that distance has bred serious problems. It is not only the disagreement between the two people and how to end the separation, but also the other party is likely to have other plans and arrangements, and even have been filled with emotional needs, which shows the pointless attitude towards long-term distance.
You need to make sure that your husband has been in his hometown for so many years. Is there anyone else around him? In addition, don't think for yourself. Although the child is young, he also has his own will. For his daughter, the company of his father and mother is more important, or is it easier to go to a good school to make her happy? In this regard, you cannot judge for your child.