How to Use "Hidden Rules" to Get Along with Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law
First of all, I suggest that there should be no direct communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If there is any disagreement, it should be buffered by the husband.
Secondly, if direct communication is impeded, it is necessary to first reflect on yourself: whether you are impulsive or not, whether there are any inappropriate words, whether you have physically collided with your mother-in-law, if you say so to your mother, how does your mother react? If these have all been self-examined and there are no problems, then you should speak to the first student, be realistic, pay attention to the way, do not get angry and speak rudely, rather cry than swear. "If you overdo it yourself and have some formal inaccuracies, but the content is not wrong, you should avoid the important points and take it lightly, but mention them.". Remember: admitting in advance is definitely better than having to admit after being interrogated. If you make a major mistake, I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do. Because I never have a positive exchange of opinions with my mother-in-law. Ask her sister for advice.
In short, to be the first person to explain the conflict with your husband, try to be calm and never engage in personal attacks. My mother-in-law is plump and says that they are puffed frogs, while my father-in-law is slim and says that they are squeezed sugarcane. To be a good person, especially in situations where outsiders are present, be gentle and courteous, be obedient and diligent, both to save face for your mother-in-law and to invite outsiders to create public opinion for you.
To get along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, one should be good at using "hidden rules"
When communicating with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, be careful not to misuse hidden rules and try to say beautiful things. "Even if it's hypocritical, you can't come up with a naked big truth. At least, you can't use big truth first.". A clever mother can teach her daughter to have a sweet mouth, but to put it bluntly, she must be able to speak.
Of course, beautiful words not only mean words, but also actions. For example, a daughter-in-law in her fifties received praise from everyone, saying that she had a daughter-in-law appearance, and that she was already a daughter-in-law, still so filial to her mother-in-law. How did she do it? When a guest arrived, she waited on her mother-in-law closely, holding a hot water bag, cigarettes, and matches for her mother-in-law, standing beside her and waiting. In fact, she is monitoring her mother-in-law, making it impossible for her to say bad things. If she wants to say good things, she can only say good things - in this way, her good reputation will be recognized by the most authoritative authority.
"If there is a significant disparity in power between your mother's family and your husband's family, or if your husband relies on your father for support, you don't have to worry about the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship. How dare your mother-in-law say bad things about you? She has to be good for her son.". In this case, if the daughter-in-law is planning for a long time, it is necessary to add to the icing on the cake and treat her father-in-law better, so as to prevent her husband's wings from stiffening and her father's retirement. Her father-in-law even spits out a mouthful of anger on her face. If you don't want to expend effort, you don't need to do anything, just let everyone go on the scene.