Post Date April, 15 2023
In the traditional concept, couples who respect each other as guests are model models for people to learn, but when the couple live together all day, it is inevitable to encounter bumps and bumps. In fact, it is not necessarily a bad thing for couples to quarrel. Learning the art of quarrelling can not only solve problems, but also enhance feelings. There is sweetness in love, and there are bound to be bumps and quarrels. Most of the quarrels are just trivial at first, but within five minutes, the focus of the debate will shift and a larger "war" will break out. If you understand the mystery and are good at handling disputes, quarrels are the spice of your life. Through quarrels, you may know and understand each other better and become more loving. Of course, if it is not handled properly, the consequences may be very serious! So, how can a quarrel get better?
1. Don't argue who is right and who is wrong
Conflict in marriage is often not caused by one person being right and the other being wrong. Many couples don't think the same thing in their hearts when they quarrel. So when quarrelling, it is best not to argue who is right and who is wrong, but to let someone confess his mistake and make amends.
2. Avoid blaming the other party
Once the quarrel is reduced to mutual accusation, the door of communication will be closed and the relationship between the two will be greatly damaged.
When two people quarrel, it is better to admit that the quarrel is caused by two people. You can't just ask the other party to apologize and admit mistakes. You should also reflect on yourself. Maybe it is you who stirs up the fire to make the dispute uncontrollable. If you two can't reconcile before sunset, at least you can find out your mistakes, change your attitude, and let the dispute not deteriorate.
3. Step down for both sides
To prevent the war from expanding, we must cool down and put out the fire before warming up the quarrel.
Psychological research has found that married couples usually have some ways to reduce their anger. These methods include leaving the scene of the dispute for a while, or using pets as a buffer. Usually this requires a sense of humor, such as making faces, sticking out your tongue, saying some secret jokes that only you two know, and calming down each other's emotions with humor.
A study in the United States found that the reason for most couples' quarrels is trivial things, such as sleeping for quilts, cooking salty food, how to arrange a piece of furniture, snoring, and so on. Married couples have an average of 167 quarrels over daily matters every year. Although the cause of the quarrel is very small, if it is not handled correctly, it will often lead to fierce conflicts and eventually affect the feelings of the couple.
What can couples do to "quarrel more and love more"? Matthew, a marriage counselor in Taiwan, gave some practical suggestions to help people effectively avoid conflicts and improve the quality of quarrels.
Accept each other's small shortcomings. You already know when you are in love that your lover snores, litters his socks and makes noises when eating. You should try to accept it after marriage. Don't exaggerate each other's small shortcomings, and don't always nag.
Say less about complaints and criticism. Quarrel is a kind of communication, so avoid using some words of attack or criticism. Instead of complaining that "the house is so messy that you never help me clean it", say "I hope we can learn how to keep it clean together".
Don't respond to the other party's roar. Stick to your position, but don't yell. If your partner is used to expressing emotions by shouting, you must keep calm. Some couples make a three-chapter agreement. When one party finds that they are about to lose control, they leave the scene automatically and come back to have a good talk after calming down.
Don't seek help. Once many women quarrel with their husbands, the most common thing they do is to find someone to complain. Most of your friends and family will stand on your side to help criticize the other side, but this will undoubtedly add fuel to the fire. Don't disclose your problems to others too much. Self-solving is the best way.
Better not cry. A quarrel is not a pure emotional confrontation. Crying can make emotions affect decisions. After the quarrel, a joke and a small gift are the ways to resolve it.
Conclusion: Sometimes you can't win or lose in a fight. You can play a trick and be spoiled. Maybe you can really fight at the end of the bed. The more you fight, the sweeter you will be.
