[Question]
I met him on an online dating platform, and after getting in touch with each other on QQ, we felt pretty good. So we left a phone number and chatted over the phone for almost a month, and we made an appointment.
For the first time, I think he was okay; He also took the initiative to invite me to his house after the first meeting. I thought this meant we had a bit of a future, so I was more proactive in the subsequent contacts, but he didn't seem to be very enthusiastic about our interactions.
He has been on a long-term business trip, and I want to get married, so when I see what I think is okay, I am more proactive. He said he also wants to get married, and his family is also pressing him. Usually, I proactively call him and chat for just one or two hours, but he doesn't show any reluctance to talk to me. But one day, he stopped answering the phone, turned it off sometimes and was not in the service area, and then hung up directly. I thought there might be a problem, so I added a friend on his QQ and learned that he had been married or divorced (he told me he didn't marry that girl).
Later on, when I finally got in touch, I asked him. I just wanted to give him a step down and admit it. But he refused to admit it. He felt that I had called him too many times, and in a fit of anger, I said I wouldn't call him anymore, so we didn't have much contact afterwards. I don't understand. What kind of situation is it now and how should I handle it?
Answer
Long term business trips, frequent gatherings, and concealment from you, you don't know what kind of lies you will face once you enter a marriage. At best, such emotional communication can only be considered as a friend of the opposite sex, and the ambiguous stage cannot be considered a substantial romantic relationship.
Love between men and women requires openness and openness. In fact, if emotions are to enter a marriage, there is nothing to hide, nor can they be concealed. So, disclosing one's marriage information and other conditions is a gentleman's behavior, and as a man, it is more appropriate to do so. On the contrary, if not done in this way, it will appear not bright, at least a bit dark, leaving women with lingering palpitations.
Love is a process of choice. As the forest grows, there are all kinds of birds, especially people. Every opportunity and man in the selection stage will make a woman's heart beat. However, heartbeat cannot replace the basic requirements of reality and love. Love requires communication, and more importantly, integration. Even communication cannot be discussed, and this path of love is not feasible, let alone impossible to follow. Sadness is not worth it.
I hope you can correct your own extravagant expectations of love through this immature experience. Having more contact with the opposite sex, thoroughly understanding each other, and confirming all aspects before choosing to enter a marriage would be more secure.