Tolstoy said, "Happy families are all the same, but unhappy families have their own misfortunes. So, what is the "preservation" method for a happy couple's marriage? In China, the commonality of happy families is having the following things:
Many people in many countries do not understand that some middle-aged and elderly people like to dance and sing, and even criticize it as "mental illness". These people overlook that childlike innocence can add a lot of fun to life. In fact, only with a childlike innocence can youth last forever, and love can last forever. Therefore, it is best to retain a little more innocence and simplicity, have more hobbies and curiosity, and play more games. Whether middle-aged or elderly, despite being a "gentleman" outside, it is best to be a big child when the door is closed at home.
Romance
Many Chinese families are too practical and lack romance. Perhaps someone may come across a question like 'Why doesn't the family go for a walk after being busy with work and household chores all day?' and answer, 'I'm very tired'. However, these people who say they are "very tired" will soon build "Sifang City" and even play mahjong all night. It can be seen that the key to being romantic is whether one has romantic feelings. Don't think that romance is boundless, just like giving flowers and dancing. Don't think that without time and money, romance cannot be achieved. You should know that romantic forms are colorful and diverse.
Many people view joking as a slippery tongue and unreliable approach, believing that couples should speak truthfully and without emphasizing the art of conversation. Little did they know that speaking with humor can resolve and buffer conflicts and disputes, eliminate awkwardness and barriers, increase interest and emotions, and make a family happy and harmonious.
Intimacy
Many couples view frequent intimacy as sticky and explain that 'not being intimate in public' is not frivolous. But expert research has found that intimacy has an indescribable effect on improving the quality of family life, and people who lack hugs and kisses for a long time are prone to "skin hunger", which in turn leads to emotional hunger. Therefore, it is best to have more intimate behaviors in family life. For example, a grown daughter still holds her father's hand; Couples embrace and kiss before going out; If one party comes back late, it's better to flatter the busy other party, and so on.
Love talk
Psychologists believe that spouses must say at least three emotionally charged words to each other every day, such as' I love you 'and' I like your strengths'. However, many Chinese people are too cautious and reserved. If someone talks about "love", it will be described as shallow and disgusting. Many Chinese couples prefer their spouses to show their love through meticulous and thoughtful care. This is certainly true, but if there is only action and no love, will it give people a sense of defect of "only the main course, no seasoning"?
I often hear one spouse say in movies and TV shows, "I want to talk to you!" So, both parties will find an opportunity to pour out their unhappiness. Many Chinese couples, on the other hand, suppress their opinions and unhappiness in their hearts, not being picky, and even claim to be "good tempered and cultured". In fact, mutual blockade can only lead to deeper misunderstandings. Long term repression is equivalent to accumulating malignant energy, and once it erupts, it can be even more destructive. From time to time, it can be seen that some couples who get along well on a regular basis, once they start arguing, will dig up old accounts and completely pour out Chen Guzi's trivial matters. As a result, the "war" escalates, conflicts escalate, and some even lead to labor and separation. The normal approach should be to strengthen communication, express opinions or disagreements sincerely, gently, and strategically, and often proactively understand the other party's thoughts. Arguing is not necessarily a bad thing, after all, it is also a means of communication. However, when arguing, do not turn over old accounts or engage in personal attacks.
Appreciation
People often look at their children with appreciation, so they always feel that 'children are their own good'; And because they often look critically at their spouse, they always believe that their wife (husband) is someone else's good. For example, if one party is fully focused on their work, the other party can appreciate it by saying, 'He/She has a strong career ambition!' or criticize it by saying, 'He/She doesn't care about home at all!' This indicates that evaluating the same thing from different perspectives can lead to vastly different conclusions. If you can count many flaws in your spouse without thinking, then you are likely lacking in appreciation. If you only talk about your spouse's strengths in person and behind your back, then you have learned to love and can reap it.