The plot of Qu Xiaoxiao flirting with a male doctor in "Ode to Joy" is believed to be memorable to everyone. The dramatic aspect is that the male doctor who was flirted with eventually becomes her boyfriend. In fact, there are also many "patients" who play tricks on doctors in real life. Some are in direct combat, while others are in the name of consultation, playing tricks on doctors like Akira! Fortunately, the doctors in our hospital are full of integrity and inviolability, even if they are a handsome 24k pot and a stunning beauty, they can be stable and have no evil intentions at all.
Today, I would like to share with you some interesting things about semen testing:
one
A gentle young man: Doctor, I have been married for several years and haven't been pregnant. The attending doctor asked for a semen routine check!
The doctor glanced and said, 'This is not semen, go and collect a new specimen!'!
The patient's appearance of collapse: Why isn't this semen?
The doctor was also very nervous: haven't you seen this light yellow and clear liquid before? You're clearly urinating! Wrong connection!
The patient looked very innocent: So how should we take it?
Are you sure you're not teasing me? I am also quite speechless, so I have to say: you go to your billing doctor and he will tell you in detail.. Oh, poor baby, how can I get pregnant? I didn't even understand my urine and semen. Can I get pregnant..
two
Patient: Doctor, I haven't seen any sperm on this microscopic examination. What does that mean?
Doctor: There is no sperm in semen, which may be azoospermia.
Patient: Does the lack of sperm affect pregnancy?
Doctor: It's worth mentioning!
However, in order not to attack the patient, the doctor answered politely: azoospermia would not be pregnant according to the reason, and had to be treated first!
The patient looked incredulous and said, 'But I have two children now?'??
What should we do? What should I do? How can the chat continue? How to communicate with patients? Do you want to rob the doctor's job and ask about the medical history, and then popularize the difference between congenital azoospermia and acquired azoospermia, or should you directly answer that you don't have sperm but others do? Or should we be more humane and silently give him a heparin vacuum tube blood cap?
three
A man tested semen and complained that the doctor's handwriting was too hasty, that our department's equipment was too poor, that we did not advise the dean to increase advanced equipment, and that our charging attitude was not good. We need to complain. Don't dare to offend God. Always be submissive and see the dragon break his armour. After enough time, the universe will be determined under the microscope: azoospermia. The attitude becomes more respectful and humble. Look, it's not just me gloating, it's really a pitiful person.
four
Patient: Doctor, I need to test the semen routine.
Doctor: Hmm, good.
But the patient stood still, and by the way, the doctor wants to test the semen for routine testing.
Doctor: Alright, you go pick up the sample and bring it for testing!
Patient: Why don't you open the door?
Doctor: What am I doing when I open the door?
Patient: So where did you ask me to pick it up instead of entering the room? Didn't the doctor come to fetch you?
It's really a black line caused by his series of questions. Some doctors really make people have to greet their 18th generation ancestors, so they can't explain the words to the patients clearly! Silently give him a urine cup and explain that the doctor asked you to take the semen container, where to take it, and how to take it. The doctor will personally provide guidance for you..
five
Patient: Doctor, what is sperm diplopia?
Doctor: It's just abnormal sperm development and abnormal morphology!
Patient: Why is it abnormal? The sperm from both ends won the bid. Aren't they twins born?
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six
A patient came to check their semen routine and asked, 'How do you pick it up? Pour it out from the condom?'? I had to explain to him, "No, I can't. If I'm not in the same room for a week, I must leave all of my semen in the bottle." The patient asked, "Why do you have semen in different rooms.
Suddenly speechless, technical questions, or professional skills. I don't have much experience and sincerely cannot answer
Our life originates from the union of sperm and egg,
Regardless of gender, it is important to have some scientific knowledge about semen and sperm,
Avoid jokes like the one above.
Complex semen, entanglement of life and disease
Firstly, semen is not equivalent to sperm. Sperm is a germ cell, which looks like tadpoles. The liquid that allows these tadpoles to swim is called prostatic fluid, and semen is a mixture of the two.
Secondly, the distance between ordinary young men is approximately 60-100cm. It is said that Horst Schultz, the champion of the World Ejaculation Distance Competition, has set a world record of ejaculating at a height of 3.7 meters and a distance of approximately 6 meters.
Thirdly, ejaculating once a day helps to ensure the quality of semen and sperm. For some couples who find it difficult to conceive, holding on to their inventory can actually reduce their chances of conception.
Fourthly, the swimming speed of activated sperm is approximately 1-4 millimeters per minute.
Fifth: At the tip of a normal adult male's erect penis, approximately 3 million sperm will quickly accumulate! Therefore, even if there is no 'ejaculation', even if it is just a delay, it does not necessarily mean that everything is okay. At the same time, coitus interruptus is not recommended, and ejaculation in the vulva is also a deadly act. However, it must be stated that so far, accidental pregnancy in the swimming pool still falls under the category of urban legend.
Sixth: There are also some unconfirmed doubts that semen can help women maintain a good mood and reduce depression.
Seventh: Some men are allergic to their own semen. For some men who have been allergic to their own semen for a long time, various discomfort after ejaculation has been explained as psychological factors. It wasn't until a doctor suddenly realized that this was probably an allergic symptom that he conducted a crucial experiment - applying semen to the skin to directly induce allergic symptoms.
Eighth: Due to the presence of the blood-testis barrier, sperm belongs to the category of foreign objects for our immune system. If testicular trauma causes damage to this barrier and the immune system discovers this secret factory, then sorry, all sperm will be completely destroyed, which is one of the possible causes of azoospermia.