Successful people focus on goals, while unsuccessful people focus on obstacles. We all have our own ideals and aspirations on the road of love, or on all kinds of other roads. We are eager to be liked by the people we like, to communicate with others, to have more talents, and to get more wealth
We all have aspirations, but not everyone can achieve their aspirations. Then why can't some people do it, while others are very successful?
I think it's important to focus on where.
When we focus on the goal, we will focus on how to move towards the goal; But when we focus on obstacles, we will spend a lot of time to fear obstacles that may not appear at all, and even be overwhelmed by these fears before we act.
Some people will classify this situation as having no successful experience, because there is no successful experience, so it can not be copied smoothly, but this is not very logical. No matter what you do, you have no successful experience before your first success. How did you get your first successful experience? It's very simple, through failure.
The wise learn by failure, and the wise learn by the failure of others. Most of us are at least smart people, otherwise we can't learn to walk. No child can learn to walk for the first time, and there is no way to produce such a book to teach novice parents how to let their children learn to walk for the first time, for no other reason. Experience is a very personal thing. We can't experience what a child experiences. We don't know what he feels from his body, so we can't start.
The only thing we can do is to constantly encourage children, let them know that it doesn't matter if they fall, and just stand up again.
Each of us has been a brave soldier, at least in learning to walk. We all experienced many failures. We kept falling and standing up, falling and standing up. Finally, we walked from the first faltering walk for a short time to the later easy walk.
I have never heard a child fall down and say, "Alas, it's all because I have no successful experience.".
The lack of successful experience is not the key to our success. Successful experience only helps us to have a basic template for further optimization. But before we taste the first success, everyone has only failed experience.
Failure is the best assistant for us to adjust and learn, but too many people connect failure with fear, and then let such fear envelop themselves.
Whenever they want to act, the memory of those failures will continue to play in their minds, and the feeling of fear will continue to repeat. So they hesitate, they panic, and they let fear occupy their mind and body. Finally, they can not act at all, or let themselves perform the same failure again.
Some people are so afraid of failure that they can't realize their dreams, because it is better to keep me excellent than to try to practice their dreams, and then have a taste of failure in the middle. It is just because the story that I have no action is more reassuring.
So they are farther and farther away from reality. When others are trying hard, in order to maintain their own security or unrealistic sense of value, they continue to let themselves do nothing. For a long time, others succeed, but they are still in place.
When they start to panic about how the reality is not as good as their expectations, the wasted time will never come back.
Most people think that failure is terrible, even the most terrible thing in the world. But those who have succeeded know that failure is only a link of success. Nothing can teach you more lessons than failure, even success itself.
Too many people regard one failure as the end point, and then think that they have failed again, but they cannot regard failure as a relay station, a relay station used to adjust themselves and their direction, so that they have more opportunities to succeed.
So they fear failure, and at the same time connect failure with their own values. They think that as long as they fail, they will have nothing, and even their self-esteem cannot be preserved.
But who stipulated that you would be paralyzed if you failed? I have seen many successful people are failure experts. They have experienced greater and more failures than others, but they have succeeded in the end.
The key is that they don't let the memory and fear of failure overwhelm them. They focus their time and attention on their goals, while failure is used to remind them of the places they need to adjust. So they turn failure into their own nourishment, while those who fail let fear help build their own graveyard.
I have no intention of discussing who wins and who loses here. Everyone's success or failure should not be determined by others, but by themselves. If you think you haven't got what you want and feel unhappy about it, then maybe you haven't achieved your ideal success yet.
The way to make yourself more successful is to focus on the goal, and then shut up the negative memory played in your heart, and focus on moving forward. Even if you fail, you can learn from it, and then launch the next attack again.