My husband cheated
We have been married for four years, and our child is just one year old. I tried to be a virtuous and affectionate wife, but he cheated.
This is from reading my husband's text message inadvertently. At that time, I didn't really want to "check". I just wanted to find a friend's phone number from his mobile phone. Before that, I had always respected his privacy.
Maybe it is because of my "trust" that he has not done the deletion work in advance. The naked text messages like "I miss you" and "I really want to sleep with you" make me surprised! From that moment on, I felt that all the happiness in the past four years collapsed in an instant!
At first, he resolutely refused to tell the truth and kept prevaricating, saying that it was "colleagues' pranks". Later, maybe it was because I didn't show any sign of concession, or because I was too tired and tired, he didn't give up until he was completely clean.
It turns out that the third is my husband's female boss. Now she is a second married woman. She has a husband and a son. What's important is that she is nearly ten years older than my husband! I have seen that woman. She is not beautiful. She is a very powerful role. She is very smart and arrogant. When she first entered the company, her husband always said that working under her is very tortured! Who would have thought that after two years, they had developed such a relationship!
My husband said that staying with her is purely for "work needs". In the current situation, if he wants to make a breakthrough in his position, this woman is a shortcut. He doesn't want to divorce. He wants me to understand him and tolerate this matter. When he is promoted to the supervisor, he will naturally break up with her!
I immediately thought of three words: hidden rules.
Unexpectedly, I used to think that only women would engage in hidden rules with male superiors. But now, male subordinates will also engage in hidden rules with female superiors! This man makes me disappointed and desperate!
With the intensification of the cold war between us, my husband moved out. A few days before he moved out, he would call to care about me, but now there is no phone call or text message. Later, I heard that he had already rented a house with his female boss!
I talked to him, but his opinion remained the same: if I gave him time, he would not be willing to take this step but got nothing! I don't want such a humiliating marriage, but my daughter is too young, should she lose her father? Besides, is it possible for a divorced woman to meet a better man again? Alas, dilemma, dilemma
Expert reply:
There is an interesting discovery: many women who can tolerate their husband's extramarital love, her reason is "he said that he was with that woman only for money, he said he loved me, as long as he got what he wanted from that woman, he would come back to me".
From the perspective of outsiders, the utilitarianism of men who can say this is really creepy. However, as a wife, she can often be persuaded by such reasons. Mingming met a promising man with a soft meal, but she was able to endure the tone because: compared with the spiritual betrayal, women are more likely to forgive the physical betrayal of men.
A man has a material purpose to have a relationship with another woman. As a wife, although she hates it, she also gloats at the "third". She thinks, "My husband doesn't love you and wants to sleep with you. This bad woman deserves it!
It can be said that in a woman's heart, "love" is always more important than "sex". When marriage encounters a third child and everything is on the verge of despair, it is like a woman's last amnesty to hear a man say "I'm with her for money...", which leaves her a little room for dreams.
This is really the common psychology of women: "It doesn't matter whether a man's character is good or not. The key is that he is good enough for me!" He has a purpose for other women, but he has love for her. This is the story that women all like.
Back to today's story, if today he resolutely said to you, "I don't love you anymore, let's end it", maybe you will have a definite pain, but you won't hesitate to feel helpless pain. Maybe the clear answer will break your heart, at least you can look forward to starting again after breaking your heart.
However, the wise and cunning man doesn't say so. He wants to say, "I'm only with her for the benefit". In a word, I put you on the hot pot, making you feel uncomfortable, both hopeless and expectant.
Bad men always have a way to hang a woman's heart. Such a man, the means of torture is really first-class!
Although, I believe your husband's words very much, the female boss may be mature and charming, but the male subordinates climb into her bed, most of them will consider the interests. But, can you feel at ease with such a utilitarian man sleeping beside you? Who can expect that he will betray him several times in his life?
For a man who has no "heart", all the madness is of no use. From now on, we should think about how to arrange our life with our children after divorce?
Don't say that you are not confident to find a better man than him. Meeting such a man is already the worst fate for a woman! You should believe that such a bad man will not let you catch up all the time!
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)