Post Date April, 15 2023
Many people will ask me, is first love really important to men?
Very important! For a man who has married his first love, this answer is obviously against his heart.
Not important?! Such an answer is obviously not in line with the sensitive glass heart of young literary men.
Of course, if there are many men together, you can probably hear them say proudly: Hey, it's just a woman! It's all the same when the lights are off!
The billionaire Mr. Gatsby described by the American writer Fitzgerald has reached the extreme of his pursuit of his first love Daisy, which is close to obsession and madness. This is probably the foreshadowing of the tragedy of the story. It is always full of regret and nostalgia for people who can not get and have lost. To some extent, it has its psychological roots.
First love is similar to "not getting and losing", which is called "unfinished business". It refers to the past situation in which you and your past unfinished events have not been satisfactorily resolved or completely healed.
In 1927, the German psychologist Chickney used a series of experiments to find that the average person is very easy to forget the things that have been completed and have results, and always remembers the things that have been interrupted, unfinished and failed to reach the goal.
Such unfinished events have a kind of subconscious power, which is invisible. Sometimes you feel it buried deep in your heart, and sometimes it appears in your dreams inadvertently. The seemingly peaceful life, a memorial day and a familiar song can easily cause various ripples. Fortunately, not everyone in this world is Gatsby.
Acknowledge the loss and tell yourself that this love will come to an end here, where it has completed its mission.
Say goodbye to the wrong and meet the right.
We should never compare who is more important with our first love.
As Zhang Ailing once said, maybe every man has two roses in his life: one is his white rose, the other is his red rose; Marry the red rose, and over time, the red rose will become a smear of mosquito blood on the wall, while the white rose will still be "the bright moonlight in front of the bed"; When you marry a white rose, the white rose is a grain of rice residue on your clothes, and the red one is a cinnabar mole on your heart.
It is said that men have kissed red roses, loved white roses, and finally married carnations. The reality is cruel.
Is it never better than the lost one? The reality is within reach.
While acknowledging the loss and learning to be sad, we must inject new power into the new feelings, and this power is the unfinished event!
Acknowledging loss is the acceptance of this phenomenon. Only when you accept it wholeheartedly can you tap their subconscious power, learn that sadness is the release of energy and emotion, and regain the ability to love, so that you can better start a new relationship.
When a new relationship begins, we must constantly send some unfinished events of this relationship, such as watching the sunrise next spring, going to Europe for vacation next year, or growing old with you
Acknowledge the loss, learn to be sad, inject strength, and let the love continue
