Post Date April, 15 2023
The online report that "a woman still has an affair with her ex husband after divorce and is infatuated with her ex husband's superb bed skills, giving birth to a daughter and remarriage" has attracted high attention and heated discussion among friends. Infidelity, as the name suggests, refers to secretly falling in love or engaging in sexual relationships with others, with the most famous being Pan Jinlian and Ximen Qing. But now there is another shocking affair - a woman who, after divorce, still had an affair with her ex husband and remarried. So, what are the psychological misconceptions of cheating?
Ms. Zhao was Mr. Liu's first wife, but after her husband remarried, she still had an affair with her and gave birth to a daughter. The two remarried. Recently, Ms. Zhao sued her husband to the Tongzhou Court for divorce on the grounds of discovering that she had an improper relationship with her second wife.
According to the Tongzhou Court, in 1999, Mr. Liu, who was 23 years old, married Ms. Zhao, who was the same age. But their married life was not satisfactory, and the two often had conflicts due to trivial matters in their lives. In October 2004, the two went to the civil affairs department for divorce. Mr. Liu and Ms. Zhao got married shortly after their divorce. However, Mr. Liu's second marriage was also unhappy. After nearly seven or eight years of marriage, Kou had not been able to conceive, which could have distressed Mr. Liu. Later, Mr. Liu found his first wife, Ms. Zhao, and maintained an improper sexual relationship with Ms. Zhao. In the summer of 2011, Ms. Zhao became pregnant.
Ms. Zhao claimed that shortly after the birth of her child, she discovered that her husband, who was driving a taxi, often resided in his second wife Kou's place for a long time on the grounds of convenient transportation and collection, and maintained an improper relationship with Kou. Ms. Zhao also stated that initially, she did not request a divorce from Mr. Liu for the sake of having a relatively young child, but Mr. Liu has not restrained herself. Ms. Zhao filed a lawsuit in court, demanding a divorce from Liu.
Inventory the 12 major psychological misconceptions of cheating between men and women
Myth 1: If no one finds out, it's not a lie
If you will never be discovered, you will never see someone again, and it is safe sex between you, without telling anyone, can it be considered cheating? It's entirely up to you, if you really feel like the wind has passed without a trace, then you can skip it.
But the problem is, few people feel from the bottom of their hearts that cheating is completely right. Even those who are good at deceiving will know that cheating is a bad thing, and while deceiving your partner, your feelings towards them are also changing. You will feel that the other person is either too naive or too easy to deceive. In short, we have lost an essential element in the relationship between men and women: respect.
Myth 2: The reason for cheating is because Ta is unhappy at home
On this issue, men and women are different. A woman's infidelity indicates that she is not satisfied with the marital relationship, while men are a bit different. Even if a man loves his wife again and lives happily in bed, they still won't give up on romance once they have the opportunity, as long as they feel they won't be caught. A survey shows that 56% of men who cheat think their marriage is very happy, while only 34% of girls agree with this view.
Myth 3: Misconduct is only about sex
Some extramarital affairs are just for the sake of sex, and most of them include sex because it is taboo to have sex with someone outside of your partner. It's precisely because it's not possible that it makes people want to try. But having an affair is not necessarily just about sex. Simply put, having an affair is about getting something that your partner cannot give you. As for what this kind of thing is, it varies from person to person.
Sometimes even the cheater themselves cannot say exactly what it is. Some are to reminisce about something lost in childhood, some are to pursue a sense of youthfulness, and even some are unfaithful to their "perfect" partner because they have had enough of this sense of perfection! So, infidelity and sex cannot be equated.
Myth 4: If Ta cheats, it means he no longer loves you
It may seem like this, but the truth may not be so. But this does indicate that Ta no longer respects you so much, and the promises you made before are no longer valued. And your values are already different. Some people can separate love and sex, and their infidelity is simply sleeping with someone else, but it doesn't mean they no longer love their partner.
Myth 5: Men are more likely to cheat than women
It may have been like this before, but now the reason why men and women cheat is actually the same: they like the new and dislike the old. Being unfaithful is always bad, but the feeling of doing bad things makes people more eager to try. It's just that women prefer to use this excuse: anyway, my other half doesn't value me, and I have the "right" to enjoy a dewy relationship.
Previously, we only bought ourselves lipstick and a new hairstyle, but now we're using men. However, women's infidelity still carries a greater burden than men's because women are more likely to feel guilty. However, since studies have shown that women have a stronger ability to lie, the likelihood of women not being caught cheating is also higher.
It is also a misconception to say that men enjoy getting their female friends into bed. Most unfaithful men feel that if they cheat, they need to find someone farther away to save trouble. On the contrary, psychologists believe that it is women who always secretly expect friendships to develop into romantic relationships.
They always invest a lot of emotions in their opposite sex friends and keenly test whether this relationship can develop into a better relationship than the one I have now. So, women often make friends to find their true soul mate, while men are just for fun.
Myth 6: Having sex with your ex is not considered cheating, as you have done it before
People who have an affair always feel that sleeping with their ex is no problem, at least not as sinful as having a relationship with a new person. After all, if they have already broken up, they will not complicate the affair. In fact? absolutely wrong. What you think in your mind may be that you have slept before and are now waiting to catch up on sleep, which does not represent any future possibilities. But what about the other party? Ta may feel that this is a precursor to your reunion. So you are facing the dilemma of breaking up with them again, and you also need to explain to your current employer how after such a long time, your previous employer suddenly started sending you emails and making phone calls. This is much easier to detect than sleeping with strangers, at least strangers can flash out after sleeping, and their ex has to email them to break up.
Myth 7: As long as you work hard enough, you can eliminate the possibility of a third party appearing
You can reduce the chances of this happening, but there is no 100% guarantee that you won't cheat. The best thing we can do is find the right partner. Choosing the right person is definitely more important than striving to make him happy after being together. After all, morality, values, and family background will have a decisive impact on whether they cheat or not.
Myth 8: If Ta has a history of infidelity, he will definitely cheat again
This is not a misconception, but a true one. If your partner is unfaithful to every ex and there is no chance for her to reflect completely, there is no doubt that she will also be unfaithful to you.
Myth 9: Once you have an affair, you must confess to your partner
If it happens to be discovered, you'd better voluntarily repent, so that you have more opportunities to save your relationship. But if you think it's too secretive to be discovered... there's also reason not to mention it. Some experts suggest that if your partner's personality is not that strong, don't confess to them.
After all, this kind of repentance will have a devastating impact on their confidence, and it may also destroy the trust you have finally established, and it will take many years to rebuild a more fragile relationship. More importantly, figure out why you started an affair. What did you get out of it? Can you get this kind of thing from your partner?
The worst reason is to say it in your own heart and feel better. This will indeed alleviate your sense of guilt, but your partner will suffer as much as possible due to it. Since you have made a mistake, you should find a way to solve it.
Myth 10: If there is no sexual intercourse, it cannot be considered cheating
Emotional infidelity - this deep and passionate relationship between people, from Platonic friendship to romantic love, always leads people to mistakenly believe that they have not been unfaithful. Actually, this is the biggest threat that a marriage can face. 80% of infidelities start with 'a friend' and often involve colleagues. Research has shown that 50% of women and 62% of men have an affair with their work partners in such situations.
While quietly touching, it is also full of desire, and the plot is so tense that it feels like making a spy movie. This kind of emotional abandonment is very dangerous, but it can always pass the test smoothly, and once you try it, it can easily become addictive (who wouldn't want such a good thing). If you have a significant other and always pretend to be single, if you always secretly send emails or text messages, if you love to tell them your feelings but are unwilling to tell them about meeting that person, it indicates that you have emotionally cheated.
Myth 11: Having sexual fantasies about outsiders means you are going to cheat
Many sex therapists encourage couples to imagine having sex with others, logically speaking, as long as they are not in bed, there is nothing wrong with having an affair in their minds. But others think it is very dangerous. sexual fantasy will bring the desire to cheat because the value of sexual fantasy is to let you imagine a passionate, perfect sex. However, the extramarital encounter in real life is not as exciting and perfect as fantasy, so strong sexual fantasy may be more likely to make people have the impulse to cheat.
Myth 12: An affair can save your marital relationship
It is an eternal excuse for those who enjoy having an affair. Obviously, he deceived you. Can you imagine a couple talking like that? Husband, since we had an affair, we have become increasingly sweet. "Obviously, we can't. An affair means betraying trust, regularly lying, and betraying trust. Even those who managed to escape feel that their relationship with their partner has developed cracks, a hint of resentment, sadness, or guilt.
Although that's the case, if you can seriously think about why he treated you like this, it may help you find what you lost. Generally speaking, extramarital partners hope to reshape themselves or become the person they want to be through this behavior.
However, the partner who has been together for many years always treats the other person as the one they just met, without looking at them with a developmental perspective. An affair can give you a chance to get to know each other again. So, after an affair, there is an important question to ask: "What kind of person were you when you were with her? What can I do to make you feel like you were that way when you were with me
The above is a detailed introduction to the 12 major psychological misconceptions of a woman who still has an affair with her ex husband after divorce and gives birth to a daughter. Therefore, in daily life, friends can learn more about the relevant knowledge of both sexes, and at the same time, they should also keep themselves clean and avoid incidents such as cheating. They should actively engage in harmonious sexual intercourse, so as to enjoy every day in a healthy and happy way.
