Post Date April, 15 2023
In marriage, it is more important to learn to move oneself than to create emotions for the other party.
My family is short and troubled
Lv Jing - I am not a sentimental person, but I still crave the feeling of being moved
As soon as I entered the subway station, I saw the bright rose stick. The flower stick entered the same carriage as me, and due to crowding, it was lifted high and bloomed brightly in the world of gray and black winter clothes. My heart swayed with the carriage, feeling very moved. Today is my fourth wedding anniversary, and seeing such a big flower is a good omen, although I don't even know the person holding the flower. How beautiful!
But this beauty didn't happen to me.
As soon as he left the subway station, he saw him shivering and standing in the wind, carrying a huge plastic bag full of books in one hand. Why did you buy so many books today? How can you go shopping with such a heavy object?
He was quite aggrieved: Didn't you suddenly decide to go shopping? I was reading at the bookstore downstairs of our unit at the time. As soon as I heard that you wanted to go shopping before dinner, I quickly came over, afraid that I might be late. I arrived early and waited for more than ten minutes.
I picked up my backpack and got it! Don't go anywhere, it's impossible to carry the weight and still have the energy to go shopping.
That meal left me in a bad mood. That bag of books has become a topic of constant entanglement for me, and the more I say it, the more angry I become.
He's lucky, he's smiling all the time when I'm angry. He doesn't have the heart at all.
I had to go home after dinner. I've been working hard lately, but it's still a anniversary on the weekend. As a result, I can't even go shopping because I bought a bag of inexplicable books.
I don't know when he will leave, but he will be back soon. Häagen-Dazs holding a double ball.
I just went to the supermarket to buy batteries and saw your favorite chocolate bicolor ball.
I told myself: take the Häagen-Dazs and be happy.
But I can't do it. Eating ice cream on such a cold day, and I need a new coat even more.
Yao Chao - she turned a blind eye to everything I did for her
If Lv Jing saw everything I did today, I don't know if she would still be so angry.
Almost all the books she hated in the bag were bought for her.
I deliberately left work early today. Because my unit is far away in the suburbs. While waiting for the bus, I turned into the nearby bookstore and found many books that Lv Jing needed. She has recently encountered bottlenecks in her work, and these books are perfect for her. When she was picking up books, she called and said she wanted to go shopping and see her earlier. I quickly set out and took a taxi over. It was too cold, so she asked her to wait for me at the subway entrance, so it was better for me to wait for her.
Actually, today is our wedding anniversary. I want to see her earlier. But I can only say this in a joking tone during dinner, and even make her stare at me and say, 'Disgusting, why should I see you earlier?'?!
And these poor books became the culprits. She didn't even glance at it.
The feeling of disappointment can also be contagious. She is not in the mood to go shopping, so we have to go home.
I went to the supermarket downstairs to buy Häagen-Dazs, because I wanted to make her happy. I don't want her to get angry.
But she grabbed the ice cream and threw it into the refrigerator, then suddenly cried and left, feeling extremely aggrieved.
What exactly does she want?
I think we are very happy, but she always seems unhappy. Why is this? The feeling of happiness and happiness is something you have to find yourself, and I think this is the most different thing between me and Lv Jing.
Blu and his wife empathize
Mr. Bloom - This is a marriage without communication
Their story truly inspired my sympathy for marriage. After living with her for four years, he still couldn't understand each other, predict their behavior, and perceive their psychological needs.
What makes me feel that this man is lacking in? Firstly, if buying books for your wife is to bring unexpected joy to the other party, then the joy that you expect from your wife cannot be ignored. There is no expected happiness, and there will be no unexpected surprises, because at this time, unexpected joy can only become a compensation for missing.
Secondly, Xiao Yao had a lot of time to explain and let the other party know his intentions, but he chose to remain silent. His subconscious is hoping for his wife to make mistakes or feel guilty! On the surface, it is a form of self-discipline, but in fact, it unconsciously destroys the other party's emotions by harming oneself. Third, Xiao Yao bought books for his wife. I'm afraid only half of them are right. What gifts to buy represent people's values. Buying books on the wedding anniversary is to meet their own value needs even though they are needed by the other party.
Mrs. Bloom - Although lacking communication, still touching
No! I don't agree with Mr. Bru at all. I was moved by the marriage of Xiao Yao and Xiao Lv. We can see the charm of marriage in them, and we can see that both people have great tolerance and goodwill when facing differences. Xiao Lv felt sorry for her husband, who was trembling in the cold wind, and for giving up the planned shopping with such a heavy book in his hand, even though her love was achieved through complaints. However, Xiaoyao received complaints from his wife and would rather endure the grievances and resolve the other party's unhappiness through lively conversation and laughter. Although he did not succeed, his motivation was pure.
Real marriages are somewhat childish, simple, and foolish. In the eyes of others, what feels unequal and irrational is likely to be Zhou Yu's false pretense - willing to fight and willing to suffer.
Mr. Bloom - In marriage, of course, one must do things that make the other person happy
If Xiaoyao sees his wife's loss and immediately buys a large bouquet of bright red roses to express his apology, and then sends the book to the flower shop, things may have a big turning point. Wait until later to tell her that the book was bought for her, can it not move Xiao Lv! Is he really so afraid of letting the other person know his love for her when he buys a double colored ice cream and also says he bought it by the way? Can always hiding one's true meaning make the other person happy!?
Mrs. Bloom - but not too much consistency in marriage
If Xiaoyao really thinks as Xiaolu hopes, then actions may not necessarily be beneficial for marriage. There is a potential competition in marriage, which is the desire to change the person you love. This subconscious competition makes marriage lively and fun. One day, whoever successfully transforms the other person will lose interest in marriage. Love means a conquest, an invasion, and an inclusion. It is better for both parties in love to maintain some differences in their spirit, life, interests, and values.
Mr. Bloom - You can make a list in advance for romance
Of course, Lv Jing also puzzled me. Xiao Yao is your own choice. Perhaps you just liked him for being down-to-earth, steady, and not being able to use fancy words. Marrying with him gave you a great sense of security. You should be prescient about such a husband. If you think roses on wedding anniversary are indispensable, you should give him a gift list in advance to prepare Xiao Yao.
Mrs. Bloom - The different demands for romance are determined by the living conditions of two people
In fact, from a different perspective, the communication between the two in marriage is still smooth, and there is harmony amidst disharmony. I feel like this young couple is still in the early stages of entrepreneurship and they are not wealthy. Xiaolu's unhappiness can also be seen as her own fantasy of restraining herself, and Xiaoyao is just her scapegoat.
Marriage advice for the Bru couple
We also spent a lot of time reaching consensus on the emotions, complaints, and other aspects of marriage, and in the end, we could only choose some relatively neutral views.
