Post Date April, 15 2023
Lost in love, lost in love or in love?
The lost love may still be encountered in the future. But the person you lost may never appear in your world again.
Falling in love is sad, and there are five steps to walking out of sadness: Denial; Anger; Bargain; Depression; Accept.
The order of the five steps can be different, and the length of time you stay in each step will also be different, but only after experiencing each step can you recover.
Negation
Denial
I don't believe in my heart that you really broke up.
Perhaps you dream about Ta's face every night, that you two have overcome this obstacle and are happy together again.
Ta will still gently call the nickname she gave you like before, dreaming that you can even wake up with a smile.
The first thing after waking up is not to open your eyes, but to wait for the phone number that may never flash on your screen again.
You will find a hundred reasons for Ta's decision, thinking that Ta is just momentarily confused, Ta just has a hidden meaning, Ta just wants to be alone and quiet
It's okay, these problems are not problems, you can solve them together. You can definitely overcome this difficulty. break up? Hehe, it's impossible.
But——
Dear, Ta is the one who left first.
You should understand that when Ta decided to leave, he had already confirmed in his heart a hundred times that this was true.
Anger
Anger
We used to be so close, how could Ta treat me like this now!
Yes, when you gradually realize that negation is useless and Ta doesn't come to you, you will start to get angry.
You will blame Ta for being ruthless, for being able to continue living as if nothing had happened, and for being involved in Ta's life and then leaving mercilessly.
You may even vent your anger on others, blaming the elementary school girl/little fresh meat around Ta, and blaming your parents for putting too much pressure on you
You feel sorry for everything Ta is doing now, because you feel that Ta should be as sad as you at this moment.
But——
Dear, Ta really feels sad. But Ta is the one who left first, and he unloaded this relationship like a burden, just to start a new life.
If you go to find Ta again and complain about him, it can only be called harassment.
Negotiation
Bargain
If I had.... Now is it.....
You will want to negotiate terms with Ta: If you come back, I will obey you well and never be stubborn again/I will take good care of you/I will work hard to live a good life and no longer complain/I will accompany you shopping/I will accompany you to watch ball games, play games....
You still want to negotiate terms with God: God, if you let Ta come back, I will...
At this time, you will gradually start to introspect and feel that you have many shortcomings.
Ta said, when I first met you, you were not what you are now. You were independent, you had your own ideas, you were confident, and you were full of hope for life.
But now, you have become something I no longer know. What have you changed? You can't change it, I don't even like the way you drink water!
Upon hearing this, do you think what Ta said is right. You have really been slacking off recently, and your life has become different from before.
That's not easy to handle, you can lower it to the dust, you can change it, so you can be okay!
But——
Dear, Ta is tired of you.
Yes, perhaps you have changed, you have become lazy, but Ta has also become intolerant.
There is no ifs in life. The mistakes you made before cannot disappear because of the words "I changed" and "I was wrong", and correction fluid will still leave traces. The skin is broken, bleeding, scabbing, scabbing off, the scar fades, the scar is gone, but that's because a new skin has grown, and the old one is no longer present.
despair
Depression
You are very negative.
There are actually two types of despair. One situation is that negativity from the inside out is visible at a glance.
Another situation is the hidden despair, where you pretend to be normal and happy on the outside (sometimes you don't know you're pretending), but inside you find yourself different.
You have become insecure, you have become incredulous of others, you feel like you can no longer find someone who was as kind to you as Ta was before, you feel like you can no longer find the same feeling of love as before.
Even if a new partner appears in front of you now and you feel that everything is going well, Ta actively pursues you, makes promises to you, and praises you, but these sweet words have turned into itching, even if you want to, but it's difficult for you to believe them.
Because you have been betrayed by someone you once trusted (betrayal here not only refers to infidelity, but also the promise of eternal love that Ta failed to fulfill has become betrayal).
But——
Dear, indeed, you can't trust those good people cards that Ta sent you. It's not your fault, you're good. I think you're the most suitable person, but I'm not ready myself right now... This is all nonsense.
You need to understand that if Ta really thinks you are good enough (to match Ta), Ta will not be willing to leave you.
There are many reasons for this situation, perhaps it is because your differences are really getting bigger, perhaps it is because of habits that Ta doesn't cherish, or maybe it is because Ta thinks the forest is still big and Ta hasn't played enough.
But no matter what the reason is, Ta is no longer the person who liked you back then.
Beauty is in the eyes of the lover. At this point, there are only two paths ahead of you. One is to go your own way and not stop for those who cannot appreciate you;
The second is to change oneself. It should be emphasized here that it is not about changing for Ta, but about changing for yourself and growing towards the better you feel about yourself.
Think about it, what a sad thing it would be if, after a certain amount of time, you two reunited again and Ta found that you had not changed much except for getting old!
Accept
Acceptance
Accept the fact that you are heartbroken and accept who you are without Ta in your life.
It should be impossible to completely forget, and the sadness of revisiting the old place is also inevitable. But at this point, you have already accepted your new life without his involvement.
Perhaps at this point you have a new job, new interests, new routines, and new friends. The focus of your life has also changed. You find that gradually you have fallen in love with your current life, even without Ta, you feel that you also really like yourself now.
You finally accepted the fact: Oh, it's nothing, Ta just doesn't love me anymore, it's just a feeling that we both did wrong, but we're both right.
Because there is really no right or wrong relationship, everything is just a coincidence. Some things, one minute earlier and one second later, will have different results. But when it happens, it happens, and there is no one and no way to change it.
Oh, yes, Ta doesn't love me anymore. But I love me.
