Women always hope that men are affectionate and enthusiastic, and take good care of themselves. However, in reality, most men are not too emotional. Why? In fact, it's not that implicit men don't love their wives. The more likely reason is that they don't know how to express their emotions.
Why on earth? Is there a difference between men and women in the way they express their emotions that leads to misunderstandings between the sexes? What is the reason why men do not easily reveal their feelings?
Indeed, there are often differences in the performance of both sexes in marriage: Women want men to be affectionate and warm, to take good care of themselves, and it is best to say "I love you" once a day, with intimate gestures; Men tend to think that women are too emotional. Women are always looking forward to romance, pursuing details, and being too emotional.
Why don't men like being emotional? In fact, to be fair, those implicit and introverted men may not be unloved by their wives, but what has influenced them to express their feelings passionately? What makes today's men like to pretend to be deep, serious, and strong men? What makes them eager to control their emotions?
Recalling men's childhood, their "specific" toys were submachine guns, cars, and so on. From an early age, men have been required to deal with all hard colored toys to cultivate the so-called "man's character" of fortitude and coldness. A man who has broken his knee cannot cry in pain, because our society believes that crying is not a man's behavior.
When a father teaches his son, he usually says, "You should act like a man.". As for what is a man? Society has set a standard for him, that is, not to easily reveal emotions and control emotions. "Even if you are full of love for a woman, you don't care about her appearance, because the man who hovers around her every day in the powder pile is not like a man.". The ideal "man" should do great things that transcend heaven and earth.
Men who grow up in this kind of education learn to be silent. They would rather go to a tavern and get drunk or work hard than easily tell people about the sadness of life because men have the pressure to "have to be like men.".
Culture has been keen on the movement of "creating gods" for men since the first day they are born. That is, men should always be strong and not easily show weakness in the face of difficulties. It seems that men do not have seven emotions and six desires. Men are a symbol of strength, negating their flesh and blood side.
These concepts make a man feel that once he enters a marriage, once he reveals too much emotion in front of a woman, his seven emotions and six desires (including his fragile side) will be revealed in front of a woman. As a result, his "strong myth" will be destroyed, and he does not meet the standards of a big man. Therefore, he cannot be outwardly indifferent to emotions, unable to take the initiative in marriage, and unable to control his wife.
Men also reflect that they are ruthlessly fighting and competing in social life, and when they return home, they only want to rest physically and mentally, not to express their feelings too much. This may be related to the degree to which both sexes participate in social competition. According to the traditional concept, a woman is not successful in social life and can legitimately live under the protection of her husband, but men can only face the harsh pressure of survival, which is an important reason why they become silent.
Biologists may point out that there are innate differences in the way men and women express their emotions, such as women's preference for emotional expression and men's preference for rational expression. This may also explain why men don't like to show their emotions.
And women's understanding of marriage also affects their feelings of loss. Many women view marriage as the only thing in life and an important source of security. This reason can be traced back to the source of culture. When primitive society had a family, women always raised their children at home, managed household chores, and waited for their husbands to go out fishing and hunting to support their families. Without marriage and the shelter of a man, women at that time were likely to be without food and clothing. Economic dependency is one of the important reasons why women are particularly dependent on marriage.
Therefore, compared to many men's seemingly indifferent attitude towards marriage, many women want men to say "I love you" once a day, which may not only be due to women's love for romance, but also be related to women's desire to obtain men's commitment and enhance their sense of security in marriage.
In short, more often than not, a husband's indifference to his wife may not be due to his indifference to his wife, or the deterioration of the emotional intensity of the couple, which should not be misunderstood by both sexes. After analyzing the reasons and conducting good communication, we can work together to maintain a happy family.
(Intern Editor: Zhao Minqing)