After having a child, my husband won't touch me anymore. What kind of secret does he have

Q:

From an outsider's perspective, my husband and I are living quite well. Both of us have good jobs, and our income can be considered moderate in this city. There have been no major issues with our marriage. In fact, even myself, I never expected such a difficult situation to arise in my marriage.

Before getting pregnant, I gave our marital life a full score. However, since having a child, there has been no relationship between my husband and me, and I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant and my figure has changed. Even if the child gives birth and I lose weight, he still doesn't want to touch me.

Later on, I realized that he had a mistress. He told me that they had only been together for six months, and I secretly looked at his phone. He was deceiving me, but in fact, they had been together for two years, and our child had just turned two years old. That is to say, since the birth of the child, I have been in the role of a nanny, only responsible for taking care of the child and taking care of the family, not responsible for marital life, and have no communication with him.

Since I learned about this matter, I have lost my sexual desire. I dislike this man for being dirty, but I also cannot live like this for a lifetime. Just like this entanglement, the result is that we live in separate houses, just like strangers sharing a house.

I don't know what he thinks. Maybe he's still outside and continuing to be with her, but when it comes to divorce, he doesn't leave. He only says that I have my own crazy thoughts and nothing to do. I really want to ask him if you want to be a fake monk and if I want to be a nun. I'm ridiculous, right? On the one hand, I don't want to live a married life with him, and on the other hand, I want him to mention this to me, Perhaps I just want to convince myself to stick to this marriage with the fact that he really came back.

In fact, when I think about it, it's not bad. If he can take care of his family wholeheartedly, I wouldn't be unable to stick to a asexual marriage. After all, I didn't think that stopping this had any impact from the beginning. It was only after discovering someone outside of him that I realized that our asexuality might be caused by our mistress. But does his attitude prove that there is still a problem? What should I do?

Answer:

Sexless marriage is not as easy as you think. When your husband cheats, you can't pull your face back. You refuse and are heartless. As a result, both sides don't flatter, which also provides a "legitimate" excuse for her cheating. If your husband is immersed in the joy of cheating for a long time, he will overlook his career and family, and his future life will be even more difficult.

Your current marriage is in name only, and the key to maintaining it is with your children. However, having an affair can bring uncertainty to your family, and if your husband has a genuine relationship with the mistress or if the mistress becomes pregnant, your family also faces the risk of disintegration. Now reflect on what you really need, set your goals, and don't hesitate.