My husband is 15 years older than me. We know each other and love each other. The power of love makes us withstand the impact of the secular world and finally get married.
After marriage, our life was very harmonious, especially the sexual life. I was more satisfied with him. Except for the days of my menstrual period, we have sex every night. As time went on, I unconsciously had a strange idea in my heart: Did my husband have sex with his ex-wife in the same way before? One night, when I was warm with my husband, I couldn't help asking this question and insisted that he answer it. He ignored me and kept saying that he loved me and continued to make love with me. I can't concentrate. This problem bothers me. It seems that it's not me who has sex with him, but his ex-wife. His previous interest can't be aroused. As a result, his husband has to end his sex life in a hurry.
When I got married, I was still a virgin. I never had any physical contact with any man before. At that time, I felt that it was right and proud of it. Since my husband didn't answer me that night, my heart was very unbalanced. The more he didn't talk, the more I wanted to know. Later, under my duress, my husband lowered his head and said, "Some actions are the same, some actions are different, I love you, and you are better." I was willing to accept this at that time, but after careful consideration, it was still wrong: he has experienced two women, he has sexual comparison, and I only have sex with him, without comparison. I don't know how it feels to be the same and different.
My husband is still making love with me with enthusiasm. Although I can put myself into it under his leadership, there is often an imbalance in my heart, and I can't get rid of the shadow of my husband's ex-wife. I even fantasize that if I have sex with another man, even if it is only once, maybe my psychology will be balanced.
I am a very disciplined woman, and I am determined to stay with my husband for life and grow old together. I know that the idea is immoral and should be condemned by the soul, but it still lingers. Sometimes when my husband goes to bed, I will carry out that fantasy alone. Gradually, this fantasy becomes a kind of depression. This kind of depression makes me not interested in having sex with my husband. I feel that I always repeat the same old story. Even though I sometimes feel impulsive, I have no new feelings. It seems like that.
One night, I finally couldn't help but pour out this worry to my husband. The husband was surprised, Then he said to me gravely and seriously: "My affair with my ex-wife is in the past. The past is irreparable. Since I fell in love with you and had sex with you, I have never contacted another woman. How can you have this strange idea?" I admit that my idea is wrong, but I always have a grudge against my husband and ex-wife. My husband patiently enlightened me and said: " We humans are higher animals. In addition to meeting physiological needs, human sexual life is more important than emotional communication. When I started to have sex with you, I didn't deny that there was a comparison, but I was soon attracted by the emotional and sexual exchanges between us and the pleasure of body and mind, and I also forgot what I felt when I was with my ex-wife. We have been married for so many years. You love me, and I love you more. Our feelings are so deep. Do you need to worry about the past? If I said that I was really generous and let you experience extramarital sex, would you and I improve the quality of our sexual life because of this comparison? If every remarried couple wants to even up as you do, what happiness is there? "
Indeed, forgetting is the only way. I think I'm too stupid. My husband has forgotten. Why should I always remember "her"?
Xiaoman's words: Someone has done such a survey: Who cares more about the third party after the extramarital affair is over, is it the lover or the rival? The result is a rival in love. Some injured wives or husbands not only remember the past, but also constantly remind each other of "never forget". For decades, they have kept the third party entangled in their love life and sexual life. Is this clever? As the wife reflected in the article, it was silly.
Others try another way to vent: even. If you cheat, I will go. Have you finally found psychological balance? Maybe it is found, but the price is to bury the happiness of the original couple.
We praise the purity of sex and love, but we overemphasize the uniqueness of the form to the point of being demanding. I think it violates its original intention. "When the water is clear, there is no fish, and when people are aware, there is no apprentice." For sex and love, if we must pursue the purity from the spirit to the body, there will be no happiness.