Post Date April, 15 2023
I have a cousin who was in love for 8 years last October and reunited with his fiancee who returned from studying in Japan. When getting married, both parents attached great importance and held a grand wedding in a hotel in Shanghai. Both relatives and friends came to congratulate them. But the two have not yet obtained a marriage certificate.
A week after the wedding, my sister-in-law went to Japan, and my cousin still works in this city. Unexpectedly, my sister-in-law called me more than 70 days after going to Japan and proposed to break up with my cousin for reasons such as "not willing to have children.". My cousin can't bear the fact that she will divorce soon after she gets married. My cousin has a deep affection for his wife. During her study in Japan, he has been helping her financially to complete her graduate studies. In the face of his wife's sudden "divorce" appeal, my cousin was at a loss. He couldn't get an answer to his letters, emails, etc. At present, my cousin is in great pain, and I hope you can help me.
Mr. Wu:
After reading your letter, I believe that your cousin is an honest person and a man with single-minded emotions. However, due to the lack of legal awareness between him and his family, the wedding was held without fulfilling the legal procedures for marriage registration. Their marriage has no legal effect.
Your cousin fell in love with a female classmate studying and working outside for 8 years, which in itself is a moving thing. If the foundation of the 8-year "love long-distance race" is "understanding, trust, and mutual love", then its results should be enviable. However, in the eight years of geographical distance, it is questionable how much they have known each other and enhanced their feelings. Is it the wish of their family or the decision of the unmarried couple to hold their wedding?
In terms of your cousin's current situation, the most important thing is to face reality. First of all, it is necessary to clarify the true background of the "breakup" proposed by the woman in order to deal with it correctly. Your cousin can learn from her parents, relatives, or friends the real reason why she wants to break up.
Let's assume there are three scenarios. One, to be serious, is not to rule out the possibility that the woman uses love and "marriage" as a pretext to seek benefits. If this is the case, I advise your cousin to break off his relationship early in order to avoid future trouble. Secondly, if she really doesn't want children, but is afraid that your cousin and parents won't accept her and propose a "divorce," your cousin can discuss it with her and strive to reach a consensus. Third, of course, there is also a result. Whatever your cousin says or does, she is still determined to "evaporate in the world", making it impossible for you to know her true thoughts and find her whereabouts. This is the biggest harm to your cousin.
In fact, the woman didn't simply go with your cousin to get a marriage certificate at the beginning, which itself implies the possibility of her unstable feelings. However, the "divorce" proposed later may have been designed by her. From this perspective, your cousin should not keep silent for this relationship any longer. It is best to promise her "good gathering and good separation", but should require her to return or partially return the financial costs she has paid for her over the years. This requires a consultative approach, and coercion is of no avail.
Regardless of the final outcome, this matter can at least make your cousin "eat a pit and gain wisdom." Consider it an expensive tuition fee to learn the power of the law.
