Since about last year, I feel like my husband may have changed his mind.
He often refuses to go home for various reasons. Ask him the reason and say he's busy with work. I have been paying attention to him, and various signs indicate that he is abnormal. It's just that I haven't been able to capture the evidence. Just a few days ago, I found out that his clothes were not what I bought and there were often women's belongings in his bag. I threatened him by saying that I had evidence that he had a mistress outside. He couldn't help but say everything. I collapsed. Divorce was my first reaction. Take a look at an eight year old child. I hesitated again.
We have been living together for eight years, and we have been arguing for eight years. We have no resonance in our hearts. He knows me, but I don't know him. Under the interference of family members, marriage has not been divorced. He told me that he and Xiao San are truly in love, and Xiao San understands him, but he won't divorce me. I'm conflicted: What should I do? For the sake of living together with a child, without a heart and soul, will he find someone else again? Can he improve? Now as soon as he comes back late from the door, I think he went to find the mistress, and I am very distressed.
Whether the child belongs to him or me after divorce is not conducive to growth. Do I want to spend my whole life together? I don't want to leave in my heart. It's also difficult to accept me based on his performance, sleeping apart from me all the time. I didn't argue anymore, but my emotions also disappeared. Please give me a suggestion.
Ms. Fu:
Your problem is that your husband is cheating and you have a mistress. Logically speaking, there are two ways to solve this problem: one is to divorce, and the other is to turn around and cut off the situation where you forgive him. But you didn't take these two paths, but made do. He didn't cut off from Xiao San, and of course you didn't forgive him. He has lost his love for you, and now he has become a sexless marriage, which is actually very bad. Because your marriage is just an empty shell, without vitality. The foundation of marriage is love and trust, and the preservative of marriage is sexual life, which you all lack.
Not getting divorced for the sake of children is a big misconception. In fact, not only do you lose your own happiness, but you also cannot provide your children with a good environment and childhood life. Instead, it's better to divorce. After divorce, you can all be liberated. As for children, they will still be your children. No matter who the children belong to, you can also educate them and give them warmth. Moreover, children need a stable family. If you still have confusion about marriage and the future, please further communicate with our counselor.