Unexpectedly realizing that my husband called his uncle's lover his wife made me collapse

My husband and I met in 2007, when I was still a college student. At that time, my husband also happened to be heartbroken. He turned out to be a netizen of my classmate and accidentally met him.

At the beginning, I thought he was pretty good, but later on, I realized that he gradually changed. I don't know if men always change after getting a woman for the first time. Later, when I got pregnant for the first time, he said he wanted to. However, I was still a student at that time and couldn't have it. Later, I had an abortion surgery.

Afterwards, I spent a year like this. One day he said he broke up, but I couldn't agree. At that time, I felt like I had put in a lot of effort for him. People gave him money, but in the end, there was nothing.

Later, from 2007 to 2008, I removed all three pregnancies and became pregnant again for the fourth time in 2009. This time we decided to, and then we got married.

After getting married, our relationship became better and better due to having a baby. But when the child was one year old, he met a divorced woman in her forties, who was a lover of his uncle's because he often took him to eat at that woman's house. Through this kind of interaction, he began to get familiar with her.

At first, he would still show me information about him and that woman, but later on, he showed me less and less, and in the end, the conversation began to become ambiguous. Once, I accidentally saw him call that woman's wife in Q.

I don't know what to do now? And now even if he asks if he still has any contact with that woman, he says no, but I don't believe it. Moreover, there are fewer and fewer topics between me and him. What should I do?

reply:

1. From lover to husband, your choices have been blind from the beginning, but along the way, you know that the other person is not as good as you imagine, but still refuse to let go. It's not how much you care and love him, but how much you dare not face being abandoned, and how unwilling you are to be. You are afraid to see your own unbearable and failure.

2. Now it seems that your original obsession clearly harmed you and indulged him. In fact, you are very foolish. You get pregnant one after another for a man, and then have multiple abortions, risking a terrible risk of losing the right to be a mother for a lifetime. If you can still have a baby after marriage, you should thank God for his care.

3. After marriage, good signs have just appeared, but in an instant, they are covered by even worse signs. Your husband may not have been a self righteous advocate, rather than being led astray by his uncle. You, who are already married and have children, cannot easily choose to divorce. So, let's take a closer look at your marriage itself, see at what level you need to make every effort to repair it, and see where the problem lies?

4. Now, although you don't believe your husband didn't cheat, you haven't caught them in bed either. For this, if you want to severely repair him, you need to further accumulate enough convincing evidence. Your marriage may not be smooth in the future, and you need to be prepared because this man didn't care about and respect you very much from the beginning. He has a particularly selfish side. If you want her to stay away from that right and wrong woman, you need to find a way to shift his attention to you, what to attract him with, and what to tie him down with? This is all you need to figure out on your own. If you feel powerless, you can only surrender.

5. As a besieged person, if one party cheats, it's better to think it over than get angry. If this person is unfaithful, you don't need to place all your hopes on him. It's better to focus more on how to cultivate yourself and rely on yourself. No one is the only one for anyone. As long as you are strong enough, mentally rich enough, financially independent enough, and mentally free enough, this man is also dispensable. In the end, he didn't feel much fun anymore. Gradually, not only will he change his ways, but he may also take the initiative to flatter you.