Every adult yearns for love and then hopes to enter marriage smoothly. Psychologists have observed from the dating practice of male and female students that it is difficult for men and women with immature psychological age to succeed in dating, specifically manifested in the following types.
1、 Dependency type.
Such people often have unclear interpersonal boundaries, and when they encounter "someone they seem to like" in love, they quickly fall in love and regard marriage as satisfying their desires, needs, expectations, hopes, and goals. The characteristic of this type of foreign aid marriage is that one party uses the other party to achieve their own wishes, pinning future happiness and happiness on the other party, and the end result is either conflict, entanglement, or conflict, or dissolution.
2、 Apathetic.
This type of person has too strong "independence", resists dependence, and deliberately clarifies interpersonal boundaries. Once a relationship is close, they will panic, unable to engage in in-depth communication, and avoid the establishment of intimate relationships. In communication, people lack a sense of security and cannot establish true intimate relationships.
3、 Perfect shape.
They are deeply influenced by their parents, seeking another partner in accordance with the perfect parent image, and projecting the parent-child relationship into a romantic relationship. They require their lovers to unconditionally care for themselves and take care of themselves, just as their parents do.
4、 Confused type.
I don't know what kind of partner I want to find, what kind of home I want to build, and I have particularly high expectations for my spouse and future family. This type of person is often unable to accommodate each other's shortcomings in male and female interactions, and even their small shortcomings can magnify. This mentality of not knowing how to focus on the big and let go of the small makes it difficult for them to find happiness.
In fact, happiness is not difficult to find, but it requires psychological maturity, which is mainly manifested in:
1、 Clear interpersonal boundaries. Do not use others to achieve their aspirations, do not place their future on others, be independent and responsible for their actions.
2、 Accept differences. Look at each other truthfully, knowing that they have advantages, and accepting their shortcomings. Let your love be implicit, moderate, and stable.
3、 Emotional combination. "I am not overly obsessed with sex, nor do I have obvious sexual repression or fear. I have a positive, engaged, and dedicated attitude towards sex, and I respect each other both spiritually and physically.".
True love arises from interaction and balance, growing in practice and constantly improving the ability to love. It integrates the ability to feel love, experience love, create love, and transmit love. By doing this, you have already grasped happiness.
(Intern Editor: Zhao Minqing)