Post Date April, 15 2023
It is said that women are emotional animals and men are rational animals, but once men become emotional, they are no inferior to women. In fact, they may not be as rational as we think. Those factors that are out of control are hidden under their appearance. We can get a glimpse of them if we study them carefully.
1. A good man's one-night stand
Man scene: He is a good husband in the eyes of his wife and a good father in the eyes of children. He is gentle, considerate and caring for his family. He even keeps the good habit of paying his salary on time, which is rare nowadays. He likes to take a walk with his wife after dinner. He has no romantic affairs. In other people's eyes, he is a good man with a lantern.
But once on a business trip, his friends encouraged him to have fun with his young lady. Those buddies are hugging each other. He wanted to resist, but he felt that he seemed to have no face, so he didn't look like a man. The key is that the lady with blurred eyes looks like a snake, and he can't help but have some misgivings. As a result, he went to her bed.
It was his first and only affair. After that, his wife could not believe that her husband, who was always decent in her eyes, would do such a thing.
His runaway secret:
Why would a so-called good man be so obsessed with finding a lady? This has something to do with men's prostitution culture. The sociologists found that some men didn't want to get lost in the place of sound and sex, but if their brothers did this, he didn't do it, which would make him feel pressure: first, he didn't look like a man - most men regard this behavior as a sign of masculinity; Second, he felt that he had a sense of loneliness. He didn't want to wander outside his buddy circle or be looked down upon by his buddies because he didn't go whoring - men were most afraid of being abandoned by his group.
The loss of control in the scene of voice and sex is also related to the man's separation from his wife and some moral monitoring. Once a man leaves a familiar environment, his so-called indulgence consciousness is particularly strong. This is why most men on business trips are easy to lose control.
2. Good gentleman's rude words
Man scene: He is recognized as a model representative of a gentleman, as shown below; He would always open the door for her thoughtfully when she got off. He will dress neatly even when dining in the wild. He graduated from a famous school, his father is a senior member of a ministry, and his mother is a famous girl. When she decided to marry him, she took this into consideration.
But one day, she saw his impatience, which surprised her. She didn't think that "gentlemen are crazy". Such men will swear at some point. It was a time when he crossed the crossroads and was about to cross the red light. A car suddenly swerved. He came to an emergency brake. It seemed that he was unconscious. He shouted at the driver who was going away, without scruples, like an uneducated cowboy in the western United States.
She wondered why a gentleman like him would swear too?
His runaway secret:
Samantha in Sex and the City once wanted to have sex with a gentleman. She thought that the gentleman must be polite and considerate when making love, but she didn't expect that the other party would suddenly swear at her after going to bed. This surprised Samantha, but the other party was very sexually happy.
Why do the gentlest men swear when they lose control? Take a look at the typical representative of the American western cowboy culture to explore the reasons. Those cowboys like to show their masculinity by swearing, and so do men in secular life. For a man who is a gentleman again, the cultural gene that proves his masculinity by saying rude words has always been hidden in his heart. Although this gene is suppressed by the efforts to be a gentleman, it will break out of the cocoon once it catches the opportunity.
3. His violent act
Man scene: He is a university professor, knowledgeable and reasonable. Everyone could not imagine that he could be associated with domestic violence, but one day, he beat his wife and hit her hard. It was an ordinary quarrel. His wife blamed him for coming home too late. He admitted his mistake at first, but in his later words, "my wife is really unreasonable.". Their quarrel escalated step by step. At first, he was patient. Later, he felt that there was no way. The way to stop his wife was to use force. He hit her and slapped her. Both of them were shocked. His wife didn't think that he would beat himself, and he didn't think that when he was a child, he hated his father's domestic violence the most, and after he became a husband, he actually repeated his father's old way.
His runaway secret:
Why do good men use force in family disputes? It should be said that many men, when they were young, must hate these acts of violence after witnessing their father's violence against their mother. But when they grow up, they still make the same mistakes unconsciously. According to psychological theory, this is because the more they grow up in the environment of lack of love, the less they learn to solve disputes in a peaceful way of love.
When calm, they may suppress their violent impulse, and they warn themselves; It's wrong to beat your wife, which will make others hate you more. But subconsciously, they still feel that violence is the best way to solve the problem. Although many men who have committed violence reported that after their first fight, they did not believe that they would do such a thing.
4. He suddenly cried in front of many people
Man scene: He is a strong man and a tough man in the eyes of everyone. He is the Chinese version of Schwarzenegger, invincible. He is the chairman of a company, and his employees have never seen him cry. In his eyes, tears are a sign of weakness. He hated emotion and felt that only a deep and cold man could be like a good man.
But one day, he suddenly burst into tears in front of many people. It was a regular meeting of the company. During the meeting, his secretary suddenly came in and whispered a message to him. As soon as the secretary's words were finished, he burst into tears. In front of everyone, he did not avoid crying. His expression frightened everyone. They later learned that the secretary brought the sad news of his grandmother's unfortunate death. At that moment, his true feelings were revealed, and the sadness that could not be concealed made him cry.
His runaway secret:
Too many theories let men not cry easily. Over time, men themselves feel that tears are not a man's performance. That looks like a woman. They look down on men who shed tears. Society teaches men to be serious and deep, and men are also restraining themselves according to such norms. But such norms gradually make men seem to have lost their feelings and become less alive. In fact, he is a man of flesh and blood after all, and needs to reveal his true feelings. So once something touches the critical point of his emotions, he may involuntarily lose control and cry.
This kind of out-of-control is a good thing. To some extent, this kind of out-of-control can make a man more approachable, and also make him more healthy after venting his emotions. A man who has repressed feelings for a long time will also have a shorter life span than the average person.
