Post Date April, 15 2023
Pierce, 26, has spent the past 10 years in a hospital bed in Las Vegas. She doesn't even consider falling in love. "I never thought that someone would marry me in my condition." Pierce suffers from Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, which is a chronic disease of the gastrointestinal tract and digestive tract, and also causes abdominal colic, malnutrition and other complications. For Pierce, the most extreme case is that the doctor told her parents that she could not stay up that night, perhaps because she was seriously anaemic at that time, and weighed only 63 pounds.
About half of the people have chronic diseases
A report issued by the National Health Commission of the United States pointed out that almost half of Americans have at least one chronic disease, and this number is expected to rise in the next few years. The so-called chronic diseases include mild asthma cases, oral herpes, Crohn's disease, etc. Extreme chronic diseases can make love impractical or particularly difficult, just like patients like Pierce.
Can chronic patients have normal love?
A major problem is that it is difficult for chronic patients to open their love affairs. If you tell them too early, you will scare them away; Telling too late will lead to distrust.
"Josh thought I broke up with him because he hadn't heard from me for a month. At that time, I was in a coma." Miller, a 26-year-old college student, was waiting to tell her boyfriend Josh about her illness. When she was in a coma, he didn't hear from her for a month, and he thought of the worst result.
"Josh thinks that I broke up with him because my family didn't tell him I was in a coma, and he didn't receive my phone call for a whole month," Miller said. "But if I told him I was in a coma, it sounds insincere." The classic uses coma as an excuse. Fortunately, Miller's love affair finally had a good result. Although there were misunderstandings, the two married. But things are not always so lucky, which is why in the online chronic disease community, the issue of disease disclosure is still a hot topic. Some people choose to tell their illness at the beginning, while others choose to talk about it after the romance enters the state.
People react differently to chronic patients
There is no doubt that chronic disease is a stumbling block on the emotional path of many people. On the DateHookup. com website, whether to interact with people with chronic diseases has become the most popular topic on the forum. Some people think that if you really like it, others think it depends on whether the disease will be infected. Others think it is too difficult. What's more, someone spoke in the forum and refused: "No, no, never!"
Emotional writer Sascha Rothchild wrote, "If love is very healthy, I would like to seriously start a relationship with a sick person." Sascha chose to, but obviously not everyone will. In other words, they may be willing at first, but later they will find it too difficult. Some people don't want to associate with people with chronic diseases because they don't want to be a nanny or confuse "this world" with "that world". Some people do not want to see their loved ones taken sick by disease.
Chronic patients are more insecure
"He can't see hope in my life, and he can't accept it. It's too boring for him." This is usually the reason why patients with chronic diseases refuse to communicate with healthy people. Karen Swindells, 27, has epilepsy. She said that she had a boyfriend who broke up with her just after she finished an operation. "At that time, he could not see any hope from me. It was too depressing for him." Swindells used his illness as a touchstone. She said: "I know that the person who married me must be a very powerful person in the heart. He will make the sentence 'never change until death' more meaningful."
Even if some people have a favorable impression on them, patients with chronic diseases are unwilling to let others know their diseases. Compared with other people, patients with chronic diseases are more insecure emotionally. Dr. Shanna Reeves, a psychologist in Texas, has been in contact with patients with chronic diseases for a long time and has seen that her clients (she doesn't want to call them "patients") often receive negative comments. They feel that those who comment simply stand and talk without waist pain and do not understand the pain of patients.
For Pierce, neither her chronic disease nor the side effects after taking the medicine can make her live well every day. She and Walter can't go out and meet often. "If you don't know when the disease will break out, how can you book an appointment in three days?" Pierce's question reflects the voice of many chronic patients. Before choosing to further deepen his feelings, Pierce told Walter about his illness. Then Walter didn't care: "So?" She said happily: "Well, you can take this matter." Walter didn't care about this matter. He only saw "people". Pierce felt that he was the first man who did not feel "sorry" for her. He just enjoyed every moment they were together. Despite the pain of disease, the fear of telling and the fear of being rejected, all of these are not equal to the power of true love.
