Post Date August, 06 2023
Nowadays, there are more and more leftover women, as the aesthetic standards of most women have improved and the criteria for choosing a spouse have also increased, resulting in them being leftover for longer and longer. Often, these leftover women have their own reasons, feeling that these are all reasons for being left behind. So, what are the reasons why women cannot find their partner?
1. Her reason, resigned to fate: 'I can't touch my other half'
Behind the reason: What she said is right. She didn't meet the right person. Because she was unwilling to take risks, she had already told herself before going to the battlefield that there was no doubt of losing. She refused to face the potential danger of her relationship. Her rejection of emotions is a cover for her lack of confidence.
Moreover, if someone advised her to start a relationship, she would quickly admit, "Anyway, I'm a waste!" What kind of mother does such a self deprecating woman have? Does her mother say more frequently that you can only find a man by losing weight, stopping cutting your hair, being more feminine, and going to social occasions? Or do two-thirds of her words start with 'my poor daughter'? In order to overcome the pain of self belittling, women who are resigned to fate may shift from 'I am a waste' to 'men are all waste'. Ah, this happens to be exactly what my mother often says!
How to overcome this fear? Start learning confidence and recognizing self-worth.
2. As a female warrior, her reason is: "Men are afraid of me
Behind the reason: Of course, men are afraid of her because she is strong and confident. No one saw a wounded and crying child in her heart. What kind of childhood trauma did she try to repair as she grew up? What is she resisting? Is it a father, grandfather, brother, boss, or ex boyfriend? Has she ever seen her mother repeatedly humiliated and secretly determined not to repeat the same old path?
Because she rejects the hopes and needs of emotional life, she has to make herself more independent and autonomous. She hopes to become the leader of her own life, and she believes that no one can meet her requirements. Someone may say that she looks up to herself. But in reality, she has been hovering between inferiority and arrogance.
How to overcome this fear? It should be understood that before conquering men, we must first become our own masters. Face up to your past.
3. Her reason for independence: 'I love my freedom'
Behind the reason: She is busy with work, fitness, watching exhibitions, listening to concerts, meeting friends, and taking vacations. But she didn't have a minute for herself. Where else is there time for men in her schedule? In fact, she made her life so fulfilling precisely to leave no room for men, so that they could not have a place in her life.
Where does this extreme desire for self-control and fear of losing control come from? It is likely that her parents like to give orders, always judge her actions, always criticize, and always look at her with a critical eye. If she couldn't say 'no' to this scrutiny when she was a little girl, then she wouldn't be able to face men when she grew up. So she chose to close herself without leaving any gaps.
