After graduating from college with my husband, I followed him to the city where he grew up. The following year, he passed the civil service exam and we got married. In the second year of my marriage, I had a child. After marriage, apart from working part-time for a few months, I became a full-time wife.
I once thought about finding a job, but both my mother-in-law and husband have stable jobs and don't have time to take care of children. Encouraged by them, I have been working as a full-time housewife for years, responsible for the daily life of my mother-in-law, husband, and children.
When my child was ten years old, my father-in-law retired, and with that, both my father-in-law and I were idle at home, leading to more arguments. In order to avoid arguing with me, my mother-in-law took out her savings and bought a new house for us. The head of the house wrote my son's name.
Time is a butcher's knife. At the age when I became a yellow faced woman, my husband cheated. I have thought about divorce, but I have been divorced from society for so many years, and if I look for a job, I can only work as a hotel cleaner. Either for the sake of face, or unwilling to put in years of effort, or wanting to give my child a complete home, I choose to turn a blind eye to my husband's infidelity and continue to pretend to be a full-time wife.
However, my tolerance did not earn my husband's conscience, but instead made him even worse.
Two weeks ago, he openly took Xiao San home, not only flirting with him in front of me, but even treating me as a nanny and ordering me to serve him and Xiao San's daily life. Now, it completely angers me. I went to the third party's house like a shrew (the third party was unmarried) to make a scene, and even went to the third party's office to make trouble. In addition, I also made phone calls every day to harass the third party.
In this state, Xiao San begged me, as long as I no longer harass her, she promised to clear up with my husband. Even if my husband continues to harass her, she can still ignore her.
In the face of Xiao San's plea for mercy, I no longer harassed him. At the same time, my husband held a grudge against being kicked out by Xiao San and vented all his anger on me. He cursed me and even started hitting me.
Suddenly, I saw through my husband and became disheartened by the current marriage. So, I filed for divorce and went back to my mother's house.
During this period, my husband sent text messages and made phone calls every day to apologize. He also personally invited me three times to my mother's house, but I didn't step down for him.
Should I refuse a divorce when facing a husband who is bullying too much?
Reply:
I have warned many women not to abandon their careers, even if they lose their careers, it is equivalent to living with men in the future. If you marry the right man, you will have a peaceful life. If you marry the wrong man, you will lose miserably.
Perhaps many women also understand the truth of the period, but in the specific implementation, they may have to become housewives. For this reason, at this critical moment, women still cannot be ruthless and exhibit a sense of self sacrifice. But how many men know how to be grateful?
After you discovered that your husband had an affair, using the 'harassment' method to deal with the mistress did achieve good results. I would like to give you a thumbs up for repelling the mistress. While you are defending your legitimate marriage, it actually touches the interests of your husband because he will lose a young and beautiful bed mate. Therefore, your husband's hostility towards you is understandable. He dared to bring the mistress home, which fully demonstrates that he had indeed gone crazy at the time.
It wasn't until you filed for divorce that your husband realized how foolish he had been to 'look down on' you over the years. In the days without your company, he gradually realized the importance of your existence. Otherwise, how could he repeatedly come to beg for mercy and keep calling you, because he didn't want to lose.
In fact, for you, returning to your original family is the most cost-effective outcome, but your husband has despised you for so many years, so take this opportunity to make him accept punishment well. That is, stay at his mother's house for another half month, and then find a chance to give him a step down.
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)