"My husband is working outside the city, and I secretly went to see him, only to discover a secret that made me collapse in his dormitory."

My husband and I have two children. Last June, I took care of the children at home. He worked in Guangdong. Later, when he came back, I noticed something unusual. "I just felt that he suddenly showed special enthusiasm for me, so I asked him half jokingly, 'Did you go whoring outside or someone else? Why is it different from before?'"?

Originally, I was trying to cheat him, but I didn't expect him to falter and say that he had indeed found a young lady outside. "But based on my understanding of him, he doesn't seem to be the kind of person who looks for young ladies, because he would dislike those young ladies for being dirty, because he used to joke with me that if he looked for women, he would only find lovers, not young ladies.". "At that time, I was particularly uncomfortable in my heart. Although I knew that he might actually have another woman outside, he said he was looking for a young lady. He said he would definitely not look for another woman in the future, so I chose to forgive.".

Later, I secretly searched for him in the city where he worked, and when I went to his residence, I was completely shocked. I found that there were many women's clothes in his dormitory, including some very sexy underwear, underpants, and so on. "I called him and angrily questioned him, so he recruited all of them.". I said why did you do this? He actually comforted me that it was just for fun, not to take it seriously. His behavior once again deeply hurt me, and I was particularly angry at that time. I quarreled with him all day long and quarrelled with him. I almost collapsed over this matter.

Later, according to his confession, it was completely unexpected to me. He was not a prostitute at all, but had a lover outside. Last time, he lied to me. He said they had been together for half a month and had known each other for a year. The woman was his colleague. In this regard, his attitude has always been indifferent, and he also said that this is normal. "I told him that if it's this attitude that we can't handle anymore, he'll say that he really won't do it in the future. I don't know if I should continue trusting him anymore. What should I do?"? Divorce, but what about the children?

reply:

1. In terms of emotional loyalty, whether a man is whoring or looking for a lover, it is a serious insult and desecration to the relationship, and it is a lack of respect for the relationship between husband and wife. For this reason, you shouldn't have chosen to forgive this man easily. A woman should not feel that her husband will not pay affection to each other when looking for a young lady, so it's no big deal. She just doesn't take things seriously. You know, easy forgiveness can only encourage him to continue to indulge and misbehave.

2. Facts have proven that the clothes of those women in your husband's residence are all his lover's, not Miss's. Your judgment is correct, but is there really any big difference in terms of emotional harm between lovers and young ladies? "There seems to be a big difference between you and me. This time, you feel like you're collapsing because you can no longer accept your husband's choice to fool around with his lover, rather than just find a young lady.".

3. Why is your husband so calm and indifferent to your accusations of cheating and betrayal in front of you? It shows that you are a bully and have a vague concept of right and wrong. Your husband is not a good person, and you need to examine and review yourself.

4. As for your husband, based on the situation you have described, the likelihood of his complete repentance is really low, because every time he apologizes and promises to you, he comes too casually. Therefore, whether to choose to divorce him is your own matter. No one can help you make this decision, and it depends on your own bottom line. There is no need to talk about children. Children should not be the absolute reason for marriage. Behind the talk about children, it is always a woman's vulnerability and incompetence.

5. Of course, it is better to destroy ten temples than to demolish one marriage. "I don't advocate persuading others to divorce when there is a problem with marriage. Divorce is the party's own business. You can make this decision yourself, just maintain a calm and rational state before making a choice.".

6. Suggestions: 1) If you don't want a divorce, find ways to end your separated lives; 2) "For your husband's unfaithful behavior, you must be ruthless and make him pay a high price for it, otherwise he will not be able to give up.".