Post Date April, 15 2023
It is not difficult to enter the marriage palace, but it is difficult to manage the marriage life. The American network of medical doctors invited two family therapists to jointly summarize the six common mistakes in marriage and give relevant guidance.
Be anxious to please the other party. It is a big mistake to transfer the other party too much and give up their ideas, work and life easily. Dr. Susan Hitler, a clinical psychologist in Denver, USA, said: In marriage counseling, I met many women who were worried that their opinions would cause quarrels and unhappiness. In order to maintain marriage, they kept their thoughts and pursuits to a minimum. In such a marriage, the relationship between the two parties is not equal, and problems may arise in the long run. " In this regard, Dr. Hitler gave her advice: the wife should rationally express her concerns, whether it is about housework, or feel that she does not have enough time with her husband, or her own time. Hitler believed that whatever he did was to make two people happy, not to please one person alone.
The expectation of marriage is unclear. Dr. Eli Kalam, a marriage and family therapist, said that cooperative couples usually define the period of marriage life at the beginning of marriage. For example, how to divide housework, give birth to children, and how to manage assets. However, many couples have never communicated in these aspects before marriage. If the expectations of two people are different, it is easy to generate hatred. For example, Dr. Kalam said that many couples divorced within one or two years after the birth of their children because they could not face and handle the changes of their children well.
Speak with emotion. When talking between husband and wife, if one side has feelings, it is easy to enlarge the problem. Dr. Hitler said that if you have opinions and concerns, you should not speak in a voice of depression and anger, but respect each other. We should strive to communicate effectively with the other half, but according to the purpose of seeking solutions and ways of communication, it is not to vent resentment, but cannot be solved peacefully.
One side nags and the other is silent. Some wives complain and care about their husbands many times, hoping to attract his attention. Men usually think this is nagging. Therefore, it is easy to form a vicious circle. One side wants to talk, the other side shuts up, the speaker chats and continues to exert pressure. Kalam suggested that if this happens frequently between husband and wife, one party should stop and turn one thing over to give the other party time to think about the meaning of the language. In addition, in marriage, we must admit that we cannot turn prudent people into adventurers, nor can we turn introverts into extroverts and other things that cannot be changed.
