Love doesn't just end up with a dead set heart, let's just pretend it's just a nightmare

That unforgettable experience, like a nightmare, always lingers in the memory of Orchid Grass. Lan Cao said that her spirit was about to collapse, and she didn't know how to release her painful soul. She cried and asked me, "Do you think he ever loved me? Why did he hurt me like this? I'm a real rural girl. Since I remember, my family's life has been tight. A few years ago, I started working in the city to earn money.

Like many migrant workers, I also dream of one day being able to live the life of a city dweller, having no worries about food or clothing, and no longer having to endure hardships. It was probably this idea that led me into that nightmare... Half a year ago, I worked as a waiter in a large hotel. As the days grow, the monotonous and tedious service work makes me even more eager for some delightful unexpected or thrilling adventure in my life. I don't know if it was by chance or fate, the "adventure" I longed for really happened - I met Ming, a wealthy and wealthy man 25 years older than me, who was also the first man in my life. Ming is a businessman from another city and a long-term guest of our hotel. He is very friendly and easygoing, and every time he meets the service staff in the hallway, he will nod and smile, friendly but not out of proportion. At first, everyone was not familiar with it, just a simple greeting when meeting. It wasn't until later that I was assigned to be responsible for cleaning his room that we gradually became familiar with each other. At that time, whenever he had time, Ming would come and chat with me. To be honest, I don't quite understand what he said. It's full of philosophical things that seem profound, and I always listen to them as if they are specious. Sometimes, he also talks about his experiences and insights in traveling extensively over the years.

In short, in my eyes, he is a remarkable person who has gone through many vicissitudes and has seen a lot. Gradually, I developed a special liking for him. Based on intuition, I also feel a certain special way he treats me. But I am very clear that in any way, the gap between us is too big, it is impossible and should not come together. So I desperately suppressed my emotions and pretended to be foolish for all the hints from Ming. However, gradually, all my concealment couldn't escape the eyes of Ming, and all my efforts were in vain because his kindness to me had already exceeded the normal limit.

So, when he put a unique platinum ring on my hand, I completely lost myself. In the end, I accepted the ring and surrendered myself... I began my self righteous love, and let it take its course to be with him, getting deeper and deeper. I become increasingly dependent on him. Sometimes when he comes home, as long as I don't see him for a few days, I feel restless and restless, as if I have been taken ill. But just as I was completely addicted to him, Ming actually got further and further away from me... Every time I went to find him, he always said he was busy and said he would come to me when he had time. If I pause for a moment to say something to him, he will frown and dislike me. And our situation was finally discovered by the hotel. The rumor I overheard from my colleagues was that I used my work to seduce guests. Not long after, I was dismissed.  

At that time, almost all the bad things were rushed together. Ming not only didn't comfort me, but also said that I was too ostentatious, which made him unable to hold his head up in the hotel. I am really sad, is it all my own fault? Because I had nothing to do, I went home and stayed for a while, but I kept thinking about him and came back a few days later. I called him and he said he was out of town, so I went to my room to wait for him. But while helping him organize his clothes, I found something belonging to a woman. I asked him what was going on, but he couldn't explain clearly, saying that I was neurotic.

My close colleague once told me that during my absence, there were women in his room every day. He came back in the evening. I questioned why he lied to me and why he went behind my back to find another woman. I don't want him to, but he said in an extremely contemptuous tone, "Who do you think you are? I'm not your husband! Even my wife can't control me, why do you interfere in my life?" Every word he said pierced my heart like a knife. I can't believe he, who was so kind and considerate at the time, said such hurtful and heartless words! I thought again, maybe my fierce words made him too angry.

So I cried and said I'm sorry to him, begging him to forgive me. But he didn't listen to anything, just coldly and resolutely let me go. I understand. As soon as I leave, our relationship is completely over. So no matter what he said, I refused to leave, dead or alive, and remained deadlocked until late at night... Later on, he simply stopped talking to me and remained silent for a long time before saying calmly, "Can you leave or not? If you don't leave again, I'll call the security guard." I thought he was just saying that, but I didn't expect he really called the security guard. The scene at that time, I will never forget it in my lifetime - when my former colleagues who worked together ordered me to leave with such a coercive tone, I was so ashamed!

Under humiliation and anger, I picked up the fruit knife placed on the table and fiercely cut it off my wrist... It was already two days after waking up. Looking at the thick gauze on my wrist, I tried hard to recall what happened later, but couldn't remember. My mother, whose eyes were swollen from crying in front of the bed, told me that it was a security guard who took me to the hospital and called her again. She said it was my colleague - I finally realized that Ming didn't bring me here and then left. He didn't even come... Giving love to someone who shouldn't (shouldn't) be loved, how can I expect my love to be cherished? Just like the song called "Beautiful Stupid Woman" sings: "Love doesn't end with a dead set heart..." So let's just pretend it's just a nightmare, just wake up and "try to love yourself more.