Post Date April, 15 2023
[Question]
We got to know each other through a colleague's introduction, and after meeting a few times, it felt like it was appropriate for us to get along.
I often argue when in love, but every time I get back together after arguing, I also have the idea of breaking up, but he always chased me back. Because I was a very traditional person, I had already made an appointment and thought he was okay with me, so I got married.
After marriage, we continued to argue. We are both stubborn individuals who always argue. Gradually, our families became dissatisfied with us, and I no longer had the mood to do housework. The house was very dirty and messy. Later on, almost every time we spoke, we would argue and pick on each other's faults. We would always mention divorce to each other. About two months before the divorce, he would always ask me when to go and stop dragging him on, but sometimes he would tease me and treat me well. I would always say to myself that he no longer loves me, and this would not be a solution. I would suffer for a lifetime, and my family would say the same. I didn't work hard to solve our problems, I always feel that it's a personality mismatch, and continuing is also wrong.
After more than a year of marriage, on an impulse, we went through the divorce procedures. As we didn't have any common property or children, we quickly completed the procedures. At that time, I regretted it a bit, but seeing him so indifferent, we left cruelly. After the divorce, I tried to keep him. He was indifferent to me and annoyed me very much. He told me very seriously that he was very relaxed now and didn't want to divorce impulsively. He had already thought about everything before, and he no longer loved me a long time ago. Later, he simply didn't answer the phone or reply to messages, and didn't reply to any messages. Whether he cared about him or asked about other things, I went to him to talk to him, He is still very angry and even a bit crazy when he doesn't go, saying that I haven't changed at all. But I found that sometimes he also pays attention to some of my information, so I'm not sure if he still loves me.
I found that I still love him very much, always thinking about him, and some regret the beginning. Can this marriage be redeemed, and how should it be redeemed?
Answer
I have gone through the depths of water and fire once, and finally I am relieved. Do I have to go back and struggle again?
When you're together, you argue. Apart from sex, it's also harmonious, and you can basically argue over any issue. Just like this, you still keep thinking about him, but he is already very annoyed. When you think back carefully, did he tease you and treat you well, but was it always accompanied by sexual activity? The quarrel at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed ended in divorce, only when you were really tired of each other and couldn't get along anymore.
You can't see through without breaking through this layer. Don't think divorce is impulsive, getting married is impulsive. Learn from the lessons of marriage failure, disharmony in personality, and inability to live together in other aspects even if matched; At the same time, temper tantrums should also be restrained. Not many people can withstand the daily explosions in their homes like a battlefield. As for why he still reads some information from you, it can only indicate that he is also bored and hasn't found a new home yet. Just being curious about how you are doing doesn't mean he still thinks about you - if he does, he won't say he doesn't love you so openly, or even go crazy when you find him. The best way to forget an old person is to start a new relationship. Adjust yourself, completely let go, it's time to start a new life.
