I earn money to support my family, but he thinks I am vain and not concerned about my family

My husband and I got married with a child, ate forbidden fruits before marriage, and didn't understand contraception. At the age of 24, I was pregnant with a child. Hurrying to get married, I upgraded directly from a girl to a housewife. After marrying into his house, I hardly ever saw my mother-in-law's good face. He thought I was not behaving properly and had sex with his son before marriage, fearing that I would be uneasy in the future. My husband is very kind to me. Every time my mother-in-law finds fault with me, he always protects me.

My child is three years old, and in order to improve my material life, I have decided to find a job. The child was taken care of by my mother-in-law. Our family is in the county town, and the salary in the county town is not high. I went to the city to look for a job, and I am quite satisfied with the salary and treatment. My husband and friends have opened a store and the business is quite good. Due to the inconvenience of working, I rented a house in the city and went back every three to five days. In terms of marital life, we have become a bit disharmonious.

At first, he was able to accept it, but gradually he became impatient and asked me to quit my job and focus on taking care of him and the child. When I subsidize my family with the money I earn, and sometimes even buy gifts to put in front of their family, they treat me respectfully, and I don't take my husband's advice seriously. Over time, our relationship began to change. Every time I come home to stay, he doesn't touch me anymore. He's just too tired and doesn't want to move. In his circle of friends, I often see him chatting with friends for dinner and singing, and I no longer have the same expectations for my return home as before.

As soon as I got home, he pulled a face, as if I owed him something, deliberately ignoring me. I tried to communicate with him and wanted to know what he really wanted. His attitude towards me is: he feels that I have changed, become vain, love money, love face, no longer as simple as before, and even now he has a desire for divorce. I really feel very innocent, on the one hand, his parents think I have no ability and only know how to spend money; On the one hand, my husband thinks I admire vanity and don't make money. I really don't know how to maintain my position in this family.

I have always believed that women can only be respected if they are independent, but in the eyes of my husband, my independence has become a vanity. My husband and I have a very disharmonious marriage now, and he has been getting angry with me. I want to preserve our marriage, to make our family harmonious, and not to see them sulk at me. What should I do? Very confused.

Reply from Weiqing Consultant:

As the saying goes, if you choose a woman who can make money, you must endure her disregard for home. Your husband doesn't realize this, that's why he feels like you're not caring about your family and can give up on him and the child for money. From his words, it can be inferred that what he needs is emotional comfort. Every man yearns for family harmony, and his wife admires him. A proper separation can create a feeling of 'a little separation is better than a new marriage'. Long term separation can create emotional emptiness, and men's physical and psychological dissatisfaction can lead to various unique ideas that affect the relationship between husband and wife.

I suggest that you discuss with your husband and his parents and not follow your own ideas to reach an agreement. If you want to please your mother-in-law and cause a conflict in your marriage, I personally think it's not worth it. If your husband believes that he can support the entire family with his own strength, then you don't need to work outside so hard, it's not pleasing to work hard. A very important factor in marriage is communication. Don't act alone according to your own way of thinking. This way, your relationship will become increasingly indifferent. I wish you happiness.