Post Date May, 27 2023
Some of the scenes happening in bed do not match our imagination. But if you speak directly to a man, it may harm his self-esteem and trigger negative emotions such as "Since that's the case, I'm sleeping", turning the original restless night into a night of anger. Only by communicating with him in the right way can we change the current situation. Sexual psychologist Joel Hella explains each question to us.
He was sloppy during foreplay
If it's just one or two times, you won't say anything, but it can easily become a habit with men. So your hateful comments like 'He doesn't want me to get pleasure!' can easily turn into criticism. Because you want him to guess your wishes, not being able to guess will make you feel disappointed, and your tone will become stiff and harsh.
If you want to subtly change him, the best way is to make some assumptions to him during sexual activity: "If you're like this, I'll love it." You can explain to him in a low voice: "If a man's sexual impulse comes from sight, a woman's is through touch and hearing." If you treat him with a lesson, he will feel inferior and think he's not a good lover. This does not help solve the problem.
He always remains unchanged
After dating for a period of time, you find that his sexual routine remains unchanged or rarely changes. Find a quiet evening to discuss this issue with him, preferably at his home, so that he feels more at ease. Let him tell you about his fantasies, and then suggest that he give you a try. If he is not an absolute selfish person, he will immediately ask you the same question.
You can also honestly tell him that he is not having sex alone, so he should listen to your feelings. Suggest new postures and frequently ask him about his feelings, so he doesn't think you're blaming him. But be careful not to go to the other extreme: Habit has its benefits, and some traditional postures guarantee pleasure.
He couldn't get an erection
You've been working hard, caressing, kissing, and stimulating, but he's still indifferent. You're almost exhausted. Before being tortured and driven crazy by this situation, you should communicate with him. The way must be gentle, because this question directly points to his male dignity. Dialogue needs to have a sense of distance, just like this question doesn't directly affect you. Women can get along well with a man who doesn't have sex, but this is not a lover, it's a roommate. It's best not to let him become like this.
Perhaps he has health issues that can be solved with medication, but if not, he needs to seek expert consultation. Only then can your love continue. But don't portray yourself as his psychologist, don't do abrupt psychoanalysis.
He is very clumsy and anxious
He also caresses you, but it's always not a place, neither light nor heavy. Every time he rushes into battle, like a boiling pot. We can't go on like this anymore.
In order not to harm his self-esteem, you can say to him, "Not all women like a way. Some women don't value caressing (you're sure his way is not that bad), but you belong to the type of woman who prefers warmth." This is the sandwich rule: give him a compliment, bring a criticism.
He never takes the initiative to woo
Whether you're wearing thongs or sexy underwear, you can't divert his attention from football matches on TV. You feel like you're always asking, and he's not interested in you at all. Usually, we tend to ignore or deny the issue of having more desires than men, which is somewhat annoying for women. We all believe that it is up to men to woo women.
Communicating with him is the only way to solve problems, but pay attention to sexual skills. He is not a machine and can't have sex at any time, but you still have some concerns about him. His body needs to be decoded. Be sure to avoid suspecting that he has someone else in his heart, or crying and complaining that he has no desire for you.
I have never (or almost) had a sexual peak
It's not that he lacks talent, but you can hardly remember when he last achieved his sexual peak. It's not easy to tell him that you always pretend to climax in order not to disappoint him.
You don't need to tell him that out of ten times, you're not satisfied. You just need to say that you don't have orgasms every time. Generally speaking, women need more time to achieve orgasm, and you need more time than average women (so you can take responsibility on yourself), so he needs to be patient.
