My extramarital affair has been going on for over 5 years, and my husband is aware of it. However, he has no choice but to take advantage of me because of his poor health and dependence on me. As long as I don't get divorced, he will never interfere with me. I am a family oriented woman who is very concerned and responsible for him and his children.
My son is in his third year of junior high school this year. Recently, he had an argument with his classmates and cursed each other. He used the vulgar language he heard from society to scold his classmates. My classmates cried in front of their parents when they returned home. Their parents were very angry, so they taught their son to tarnish my son's reputation among their classmates, and my style of life became a challenge. My classmates mocked my only son for having two fathers and called him a 'bastard'. In a fit of anger, my son took a lot of rat poison. If it weren't for being discovered and rescued in time, I would have lost my son forever. After his son was discharged, he didn't want to go to school again, nor did he want to go out and meet people, almost bedridden. I see it in my eyes, but the pain is in my heart. I had no choice but to take a leave of absence and stay at home with him for a period of time, and wait until his mood stabilizes before making any plans. I always try my best to enlighten and care for my son. Unexpectedly, my son put forward a condition to me, asking me to be a decent mother and completely break up with my lover. Looking into my son's eyes, I agreed, promising to make a thorough change.
When I really did it, I found out that my lover didn't agree to break up with me. I don't know how to completely end my relationship with my lover, please give me some advice.
Ms. Sun:
Because of your extramarital affair, your son almost lost a young and precious life. My son is already old, and he needs a proud mother. Parents have an obligation to maintain their children's sense of self-esteem during their growth process. Since you have promised your son to make up your mind to change, let's do it well!
Breaking up with your lover, whether it's voluntary or forced, you need to master a bit of art. Firstly, it is important to have a clear understanding of the lover's current state of mind, and most importantly, not to hurt their self-esteem. If he rudely abandons him, he will feel deceived, fooled, and angry. Once he becomes angry with embarrassment, he may do things that make you regret the rest of your life, such as damaging your reputation, insulting you in the street, making you difficult, stimulating you, and even posing a threat to your or your family's health and life.
If you want to break up with your lover and be safe, you need to fully recognize the opposite of love and analyze the consequences of hate. No matter what reason you use to break up, you must use a sincere and apologetic tone to explain the danger of your son and your predicament to the other party. Why breakup is not important, and how to get along after breakup is what the other party is very concerned about. The passive side is often painful, so the language of departure is very particular. You should try to speak politely and implicitly, but your attitude must be clear, otherwise the connection will be broken and there will be future troubles.
I think that without too much confession, the fact that my son committed suicide after being insulted by his classmates must be enough to shock the soul of his lover. As long as he is a reasonable man, I believe he will "take the opportunity to retreat", no longer drag you down, and no longer let your mother and son suffer and torment.