To achieve a happy marriage, couples must pay attention to eight taboos.
1. Don't be suspicious. Don't think you know your lover's thoughts and feelings like the palm of your hand. In all likelihood, you will make mistakes. In the marriage crisis, this kind of situation often occurs: the shadowy suspicion makes both people angry and difficult to communicate, and finally the relationship breaks down.
Suggestion: Take a piece of paper and complete the sentence directly according to your intuition: "I guess my wife will ____ think of me (to me)". Then, verify the correctness of your guess with your lover. As a result, you will find that many guesses are wrong. When in doubt, the best way is to ask him directly.
2. Don't take your lover for granted. It is very important to express gratitude to your lover. Three negative attitudes should be eliminated: sense of rights, unrealistic expectations and pretentious forgetfulness.
Suggestion: Write down the big and small things your lover has done for you. Ask yourself if you have expressed your gratitude for these things and how to express it. Keep expressing gratitude for one week, and you will find the changes.
3. Don't blame each other. "It's all your fault!" "You asked me to do it. Because of you, things are in a mess!" Such complaints are easy to say. And words such as "what responsibility should I take" are rarely exported. Complaints are actually accusations and threats, and the other party will naturally retaliate, leading to escalation of conflicts.
Suggestion: write down what you complain about your lover, then ask yourself, check your responsibilities, and finally discuss solutions.
4. Don't make a random explanation. "Now I can understand why you are so picky. You are like your father." This kind of analysis that seems to understand the motives of your lover's behavior will only lead to anger.
Suggestion: first understand the reason for your anger, learn to listen to your lover's views in an open and loving way, let your lover understand that you are listening carefully in non-verbal ways such as eyes, and finally put forward constructive suggestions.
5. Don't be afraid to say "no". The practice of sacrificing one's own feelings and blindly satisfying the other party seems to be beneficial, but in fact it is not sincere. And marriage without sincerity is hard to be intimate.
Suggestion: telling the truth can win the trust of the lover and deepen the relationship between husband and wife. Please list all the things you are afraid to tell your lover according to the degree of difficulty. Then, start with the simplest thing and try to tell your lover the truth.
6. Don't use silence as a weapon. Silence is the deadly weapon in the relationship between husband and wife.
Suggestion: write a letter to your lover, express the reason for your anger and your troubles, and strive for the communication and understanding between husband and wife with a positive attitude.
7. Don't deliberately provoke. Choosing to indulge oneself emotionally or physically is more like a provocation. Such as depression, indiscriminate spending, suicide, etc.
Suggestion: find a place where both parties can talk calmly for 30 minutes, and then find out what their behaviors are blocking their loved ones, and reflect on them one by one.
8. Don't despise your lover. Couples should avoid words that reduce each other's self-worth. For example, "Why are you so lazy!" and so on.
Suggestion: List all the sentences of "how are you", then replace "you" with "me", and try to communicate with your lover with the sentences beginning with "me".