Extramarital love: the reason for the increasing divorce rate in China
A few days ago, the statistics of civil affairs in China showed that in the first quarter of this year, 465000 couples registered for divorce, an increase of 17.1% over the same period last year, and an average of more than 5000 families disintegrated every day. China's divorce rate has increased for seven consecutive years.
According to the tradition, marriage has always been the most traditional concept in China. A man should marry and a woman should marry. However, although China is still carrying out the basic tradition of "a man should marry and a woman should marry", China's family is becoming more and more unstable. Especially since then, divorce between husband and wife has gradually become a common phenomenon in our life. The marriage of "a long life together" has gradually become an extravagant hope, especially in The divorce rate in Shanghai and other cities has reached nearly 40%. From the perspective of population structure, the divorce rate of post-80s couples has exceeded 50%. China, perhaps, has become the country with the highest divorce rate in the world. So what is the reason for the increasing divorce rate in China? Ding Ding believes that there are ten main reasons:
First, the improvement of women's and economic status. In the past, Chinese women used to "marry the chicken with the chicken, marry the dog with the dog". The concept of "follow the father at home, marry the husband" has always occupied the psychology of ancient Chinese women. Therefore, unless the husband divorced, the proportion of the wife who proposed to divorce is very small. Therefore, in the past, China's family was relatively stable, although not necessarily happy, divorce is very rare. Now, with the development of society and the improvement of productivity, women have made unprecedented progress in learning, work, and other aspects, and their social and economic status has improved unprecedentedly, forming a trend of "half the sky". Women no longer need to depend on men to live, and may even live better than men. Especially women can participate in the division of labor in all aspects of society, and their economic initiative is no different from men. Therefore, women can boldly say "no" to men. If in marriage, women feel aggrieved, or think that their husband is no longer suitable for her, and from the beginning to now, take the initiative to divorce, Pursue your own life.
The second is the concept of sex. With the improvement of women's status in all aspects and the influence of sexual concepts, women's requirements for sex are no longer traditional inheritance, and sex has become a tool for them to enjoy. If the quality of husband's sex can not meet their requirements, they will no longer be shy and open their mouth, but take the initiative to attack. If husband's sex is not good, they will take the initiative to say Byebye. Now, Due to sexual reasons, the number of divorce cases initiated by women is increasing.
Third, there are more and more opportunities for different men and women to contact. In the past, women mainly stayed at home and did not go out to contact with outsiders. This is the Chinese tradition of "women in charge, men in charge". Now, there is no such concept. Both men and women work and live outside. In this way, there are more and more opportunities for different men and women to contact. In the process of contact, it is natural for different men and women to compare with each other. When men and women outside the husband and wife contact for a long time, it is likely that they will grow in love with each other, It has developed into extramarital love. At present, extramarital love has become the norm in our life, and divorce has become a natural thing.
Fourth, the work is becoming more and more unstable. With the social and economic changes, the current work is becoming more and more unstable. Today's work may be in the south, but tomorrow's work will be in the north. Due to the instability of the work area and the uncertainty of the work, the possibility of couples being together is becoming less and less. Some couples only have the chance to meet once a year or even once a few years, and the separation of couples has become the normal situation between Chinese couples at present. The separation between couples naturally makes couples indifferent, Especially during the separation period, under various circumstances, marriage has become more and more normal, and the number of marriages will eventually increase.
Fifth, the income gap has further widened. Now, the income difference between people is getting bigger and bigger. Some can be extravagant, some can hardly guarantee their basic life, and even have no place to live. How can couples be stable with such a big income difference? In today's era, especially in the housing era, the disintegration of couples has increasingly become an objective reason. The main reason is the high divorce rate in big cities, which is not lower than the economic factor, and the higher the housing price, the higher the divorce rate in cities.
Sixth, the one-child personality is an important reason for the divorce of young couples. The divorce rate of post-80s couples is more than 50%. There are many reasons, but the central personality is an important one. Most of the post-80s generation are only children. They are naturally favored by their parents at home. They live a "" or "princess" life, and are accustomed to taking it as the center. After such men and women become married, it is difficult to reach each other, and often a single sentence becomes the fuse of divorce. One sentence leads to marriage and one sentence leads to divorce. This is the main reason for the flash marriage and divorce of the post-80s and post-90s couples.
The seventh is the change of economic or social status between husband and wife. When getting married, the couple may be able to stick together, but this era is the era of market economy, and also the era of changes. Some people will become famous overnight, some people will become rich, of course, some people will go bankrupt and become nothing. In addition, in the past, some people will be proud, gradually become stars, and some people will be frustrated, demoted, dismissed, and even enter the class room, With the change of the social and economic status between couples, their feelings will also change. It is possible to have extramarital affairs and divorce.
Eighth, couples with high education pursue higher levels. We can see from the report that the divorce rate of highly educated couples is much higher than that of low-educated couples. The reason is that there are many aspects of the pursuit of life of highly educated couples, both in terms of aspects and economic aspects; There are both social status and opinions; In particular, the pursuit of the future is different from that of low-educated couples, especially in terms of contact with people who are relatively broad or so-called high-level. Such couples often have to say a certain truth in a small matter, and also have to analyze it to see the nature of the so-called phenomenon. Such couples often do not yield to each other, and eventually become enemies, and the family disintegrates.
Extramarital feelings are utilitarian marriage. Many couples have no feelings and are often utilitarian, such as marrying beauty with money, marrying a young wife by a rich old man or marrying a handsome man by a rich woman; For example, if you marry a beautiful woman with power and marry a young or handsome man at an old age, such a couple can't talk about feelings. Moreover, such families are mostly combined families, which have become conflicted. It is just that one side has a huge advantage to attract the other side, and both sides take what they need. Once one side's advantage is not available, this kind of family will be precarious, either in name or in their own way.
The tenth is husband and wife. The first few years after marriage are relatively stable, but after a certain number of years, there is a period between husband and wife, that is, the so-called "seven-year itch" and "ten-year itch", which actually belongs to a physiological reason, that is, the marriage of men and women is a mutual attraction to get together, but after a few years, the two sides understand each other too well and have no sense of mystery, and find that the other side is only so, even if the former has been declassified, Even having sex is not interesting. Such couples have reached a stage of boredom. If they do not grasp it well, they may break up the family. So, some people suggest that couples get married in different stages, that is, the marriage certificate has a term. If both parties think it is best for them to stay together, they should go to the relevant departments to continue the marriage. If they can't get along, the marriage will be automatically dissolved upon the expiration of the term. Ha ha, it's really bad that some people can think of it.
Life is short, but marriage is long, and the relationship between husband and wife is actually very uneven. If a couple wants to "grow old together", love is only part of the reason. Economy, status, fame and fortune are all in our world. Now, how many couples are living a happy life, how many couples are struggling to maintain, and how many couples are living in name or death... This may only be known after they enter the besieged city!