Post Date August, 27 2023
When we had sex that time, we were careless and didn't check the door lock. When we heard the footsteps of our 4-year-old son, we continued our happiness. As our son twisted the door open, the two of us realized something bad had happened and quickly separated. However, we had no time to cover ourselves with blankets. As the child walked in, he said, "Mom, my cup is here. I'll come in to drink water." After drinking the water, as he walked out of the door, he turned around and asked, "Mom, what are you doing naked? I had to answer: Mom felt too hot, so she took off her clothes. After listening to my answer, the child stopped asking and went out. In the future, as long as either of us closes the door to rest, he will occasionally open the door and come in to take a look, or always leave the door open when he goes out.
What psychological changes will occur when children witness their parents' sexual activities? Firstly, children may perceive this as a father's act of violence against their mother. Some children are frightened into crying when they see their parents having sex at an early age, which can directly destroy their sacred image in their children's minds and create a psychological feeling of disgust towards their parents.
Secondly, witnessing parents having sex arouses children's attention to adult sexual activity, which is inappropriate for their age and undermines the normal developmental trajectory of their sexual psychology. Some children often secretly experience the excitement of sexual stimulation at night after discovering that their parents have sex, and some children exacerbate masturbation as a result; Some children imitate their parents' sexual activities and play "sex" games with children; Some children will tell children about the scene of their parents having sex.
I once heard a story about a 5-year-old boy who arrived at kindergarten and couldn't wait to tell the children what he saw last night: my parents didn't wear clothes last night, my father pressed on my mother, and even urinated in her buttocks... If children after the age of 7 see their parents having sex, the incubation period of individual sexual development will be interrupted, The child has not developed the mental strength to control Libido, so he enters the puberty sexual activity stage ahead of time, leading to precocious puberty. Therefore, parents can express love in front of their children, but cannot express sex. If parents have sexual emotions and Libido when they are intimate, they should avoid children.
Due to historical and cultural factors, it has always been our tradition for parents to share a bed with their children. Parents believe that 'the child is asleep, he can't see or hear.' 'The child is still young, he doesn't know anything!' In fact, this is just an adult's wishful thinking. In the survey I conducted, 24.68% of parents never avoid their children during sex, and 5.94% of children have seen their parents' sexual activities. Avoidance refers to the situation where parents do not have sex in a room with children and completely avoid their children.
After a child is born, they should sleep in their own small bed. For the convenience of parents taking care of their baby at night, the small bed can be placed in their parents' room. However, when couples are intimate, they should leave the room with children, which is conducive to maintaining parent-child boundaries and also shows respect for the child. Children's autonomy needs arise at the age of one and a half, and parents can try to sleep in separate rooms with their two year old child. Sleeping in separate rooms with their child is a difficult task for many parents. During this process, children will find various reasons not to leave their parents' rooms, which is a long process. Whether sleeping in separate beds or rooms, it is very important to spend time with children before bedtime. Telling bedtime stories and saying good night to children are essential procedures.
