Post Date May, 09 2023
The standard for measuring love is not material, but time and care. Many women mistakenly use money as the standard for measuring love.
love
There are always many things that happen between two people in love, but the problems in love are often related to what happens in our minds. Most of us constantly engage in conversations in our minds, analyze our relationships, and tell ourselves how to do it. We do not simply act based on our feelings, but rather listen to the advice of our 'critical inner voice'. Don't act like a fool, don't let her know how much you like her, or don't tell her your true thoughts. These ideas may seem self-protective, but in reality they hinder themselves.
Although sometimes we seem to have to overcome emotions to avoid getting hurt, becoming vulnerable and accustomed to being the one who loves more when it comes to a relationship is more beneficial for us. The only person in our lives who we can completely change or improve is ourselves. In expressing love, we can strive to become the best we can be. When we do this, we will have a better chance of getting what we want.
When we approach someone, never listen to the "critical inner voice" warning us not to "be a fool" or "love too much". This does not mean choosing not to love us or staying by the side of those who abuse us. Our goal is to become a dedicated and loving person. Learning to do more and work harder to express love is something worth pursuing.
Here are five tips on how to have more love in love:
1. Communicate your feelings
People often make a big fuss about who says' I love you 'first. Many people feel shy or foolish about admitting their feelings first. Taking the risk of telling someone how you feel can be scary, but it's the only way to keep your relationship alive. When we listen to the advice of critical inner voices and do not believe or open up, we deprive the other party of the opportunity to truly understand us. We also deprive ourselves of many opportunities to approach each other and gain what we desire. Make sure to express your feelings instead of trying to suppress or hide them. Avoid game mentality or overly analyzing the other party's communication. It's about thinking about the feelings they bring to you and letting them know what you have for them. When you open yourself up, you may always get hurt or rejected, but it's still worth a try. For yourself, take the risk of letting people know who you truly are.
2. Avoiding the mentality of 'one return for one'
When couples start measuring each other's efforts, they often fall into conflict. If you find yourself thinking or saying, 'I will only do that thing if you do it,' you may be developing an unhealthy habit. Quickly, you may find yourself thinking, 'Why should I clean the bedroom? He never moves his finger!' or 'Why should I be the person who walks up to her and is affectionate? She is always very busy.' Don't think about what you will get in return, try giving selflessly. In other words, committed to acting in good faith without any additional conditions. This not only makes your partner feel loved, but also makes you feel good. This will also facilitate a cycle of openness and communication between you and your partner, rather than forming a defensive posture where you refuse to compromise because you are afraid that the other person will disappoint you.
3. Make sure to support and participate in things that your partner is interested in and excited about. If your partner loves hiking, take the time to experience this passion with them. Encourage them to pursue their interests and the things that give them joy and meaning in their lives. You can expand your own world by opening up to another person's world. This does not mean sacrificing your own interests or giving up on things that make you happy. Just keep open to new things, so that your world is always expanding instead of becoming smaller, which is a risk in many relationships.
4. Do things that your partner thinks are loving
Usually, our friendly actions occur within our own time or within our own parameter system. In other words, we may do something that suits us for our partner, and then feel hurt when they don't respond as we wish. Perhaps taking them out or buying gifts for them is something you think makes sense, but does your partner also feel the same way? Perhaps he/she would rather spend an evening at home, curling up next to you and watching a movie? Even a simple action, such as shopping at a pharmacy or taking the initiative to cook dinner, can be seen as an interpretation of love for those close to us. When we consider what is important to them and respond accordingly, we demonstrate love and care beyond ourselves.
5. Don't become closed
Usually, as the relationship becomes closer, we tend to gradually close ourselves or become increasingly closed to create a protective distance with the other party. We may start to become sarcastic towards them and repeatedly dig up old scores on small features we don't like. We may start building a file to collect every mistake they make until a wall is formed between us. Being ruthless towards a partner can become a defense against being too fragile and deeply in love. When we love someone, we are more likely to be afraid of losing them or the life we have become accustomed to. At this point, facing this' intimate fear 'is much better than turning into hostility in our relationship. We should fight to maintain our sense of love, even when it is terrifying to us.
We can only feel our own feelings. To love is the best thing we can do for our own happiness, because it allows us to feel our true beauty. This is a technique that will benefit us in all relationships, whether it's with our friends, children, or romantic partners. Furthermore, as we expand our ability to love, we also enhance our ability to be loved. It opens up new possibilities for us, while also allowing us to feel a continuous sense of honesty and integrity within ourselves.
The standard for measuring love
On my birthday, Mr. Fatty Foot prepared seven gifts for me: rose gold mobile phone, couple sports wear equipment, home treadmill, a bunch of roses, tiramisu birthday cake, a luxury candlelight dinner, and ginger soup to withstand the sudden cold of the day.
In a year when the stock market was extremely sluggish and the blue ocean was vast, both of us tacitly lowered our living expenses slightly. Unplanned travel and cherished items were all shelved at the end of the year.
According to Mr. Big Fat Foot, this is' vulgar love 'for me.
In the past, I would have scoffed and disdained this. During my student days, there was a story that deeply influenced me:
He looked at the billboard saying "Love her, take her to Häagen-Dazs" and laughed. Let's make a sign and hang it on the gourd stick. It says, "Love him, take him to eat Bingtanghulu with ice sugar", and it must say that he is a man. I ran the bank and he said that a stick of iced Tomatoes on sticks was not as expensive as a piece of sugar in the house! He said, what do you kids know? The real love is in the Bingtanghulu.
Later, I finally understood that when you are happy to eat ice-cream with a man in Häagen-Dazs, that happiness may have nothing to do with love. However, when you and happily follow a man to eat Bingtanghulu, that happiness must come from love.
So logically, among these seven gifts, with all the material support, I should be a contented and happy little girl, only deeply moved by the bowl of slowly sweet ginger soup, and deeply moved by the others. But in fact, when I pushed in the door and saw the treadmill I had secretly promised and the phone that had been on strike for two weeks finally coming to an end, I still agreed to be a "vulgar" little woman.
Is' vulgar love 'true love? Do we need 'vulgarity' in our relationships?
Perhaps vulgarity itself is closely related to money, but to some extent, the definition of vulgarity cannot be measured by the quantity of money.
Talking about money hurts emotions, but when it comes to emotions, it's inevitable to talk about money.
When in love, many of us use this method to help ourselves measure a man's sincerity: between a man who earns 1 million yuan but is willing to spend 500000 yuan on you and a man who earns 100000 yuan but is willing to dedicate all his life to you, who are you willing to choose?
So the vulgar definition roughly becomes the proportion of the money you receive or pay, which accounts for the total owned or payable cost.
On the other hand, vulgarity can also be defined as whether one leans towards the former in free choice between pure material and pure emotional external expressions.
Combining these two definitions, the question we need to consider is whether money can become a measure of love? Is this measurement method vulgar?
One day, when I was three years old, I suddenly stopped in front of the tall stuffed doll in the mall and refused to leave. I crouched on the ground in front of the shop window and didn't dare to say what I wanted. My parents couldn't help but buy it home, becoming the most important playmate I grew up with in my childhood. That doll is priced at 45 yuan, while my parents' salaries were 28 yuan per month back then.
These stories seem to express a common truth, that is, under the condition that money is precious, money can measure love. This measure is great and legitimate, and cannot be mistaken as vulgar.
I imagine one day, when Mr. Big Fat Foot and I recall the "hard work" or "hard work" we put in for love when we were young, we would secretly be grateful that love was not bound by life, nor was it wrinkled by material conditions. In the early stages of our "most thrifty" life, when we were "least extravagant and wasteful," we chose to use appropriate luxury and vulgarity, Completed the most obvious declaration of love.
I also suspect that my parents, recalling my "vulgar indulgence" towards me when I was three years old, did not have any regrets for wasting the two months of ample living expenses of our family of three at that time, in exchange for the joy and satisfaction that accompanied my childhood growth. More importantly, it earned the most precious and capricious emotions that parents can give their children.
So when I was blowing a birthday candle with tears in my eyes during a luxurious dinner, I looked at the person I loved the most in the candlelight. What I saw was the pride and glory in his eyes, the freedom to express oneself, and of course, the depth of love. After all, despite completing all the vulgarity, he still spent the most luxurious wealth, time, and sincerity to cook me a bowl of thick ginger soup, fulfilling the meaning of the entire birthday, It also completes my limited interpretation of this love.
