My emotional confusion stems from Green Hat. My wife and I have known and loved each other for four years now. After marriage, we have a daughter who has endured countless hardships together. She is not a woman who despises poverty and loves wealth. The reason for my relationship with her is smoking. I knew she was smoking when I met her, and I always advised her to quit smoking. After giving birth to the baby, she successfully quit smoking because everything was for the baby's good, and everything went smoothly afterwards.
Just a year ago, my business was not going smoothly. I always made excuses to go out to the nightclub to have anesthesia and play (I never found sexual stimulation), but I neglected my responsibilities as a husband and father and did not accompany my wife and daughter. It wasn't until my daughter was one and a half years old that I discovered she was smoking again. I persuaded her to quit smoking. I smoked at the age of 13 until I married my wife and gave birth to my daughter, who had been smoking for 14 years. However, I haven't smoked a single cigarette in my room since my daughter was born. Under my serious warning, she smoked in her room again during this year's Spring Festival. I had a tantrum and kicked her out of the house, and she returned to her mother's house. On the second day of junior high school, she found me again, and we were together again, but she didn't come back to my house. During this time, she told me that a man was chasing her, and I thought she was joking. I also believed she wouldn't betray me.
But during this period, I have been extremely anxious due to the failure of my business, feeling down, and having a bad temper. I drink heavily every day and have also told her many unlucky and heartbreaking things. As a result, she became angry and had sex with that man the day after I told her bad luck and hurt her heart. After I discovered it, I tried my best to save her and even used my daughter. Later, she came back to me and promised not to contact the man again. But later on, she had contact with the man several times, on phone and WeChat, and I found out. The last time I discovered it, I told her parents about these things because it was planned to end at that time. The next day when her parents decided to send her away, she approached me and confessed her mistake, because I had also confessed my mistake towards her before. In the end, I forgave her, but even now I can't let go of what happened to her with another man.
Brother Shan, do you think we can still be together?
reply:
It is a fact that it is not easy for men to work hard outside, but when facing pressure and setbacks, they should learn to self regulate and not completely vent all the pressure and frustration on their family and wives. You can seek comfort from your wife, and you can also strive to gain her understanding. However, you must not act recklessly in front of your wife, say things that particularly harm her, or do things that harm her. This is a great taboo for a good man.
There's no way, who calls us men? When men live in the world, they have to carry things on their own. No matter how tired or bitter they are, they have to push forward under pressure. This is the blood and nature of men. When encountering setbacks, one should never turn back, and dare to face and solve them directly. What's the point of always taking offense at your wife, and it's not really a skill. You recklessly vent, go outside to release, and ignore your wife and children at home, disregarding the feelings and emotions of the other party. In the end, you feel good about yourself, but hurt your family, which can only make your wife feel helpless, nervous, and uneasy, and even make her look down on you.
It was precisely because of your bad words that your wife was ultimately hurt by your words, and she had the idea of cheating and retaliating against you in her heart, and ultimately took action. Isn't all of this caused by your inappropriate words and actions, as well as insufficient self-control and rest? After your wife wore a green hat on you, you felt uncomfortable. So why should you have known so?
Whether you can still be with your wife depends on both your wife and yourself, and no one else can give you an answer. I can only tell you that if your wife makes repeated mistakes and is unable to contain the red apricot blossom from the wall, then you will naturally choose to leave her under the unbearable humiliation. If she has awakened and changed her ways, then why should you hold onto it? If you feel like you can't pass this barrier, then think more about the harm you've done to your wife in the past. Perhaps you can add some balance to your heart, after all, who can blame you for causing this ending today.