After cheating, I fell in love with my lover. I wanted to divorce my husband, but my lover's words broke my heart

I am 34 years old this year, and my husband is also 34 years old. We have been married for 8 years and have never had children. My husband works in sales, and he often has to go out of town and cannot return home several times a year. Originally, our family's living conditions were not poor and we didn't need him to travel around like this, but he is a very ambitious person who values his work very much. When he first got married, he had nothing, but my family had a house and everything was needed. However, he was very strong and never expected my family to buy a house. He took out a loan and bought a house himself. At that time, he was also very kind to me and very kind. But my husband can't have children. He has azoospermia, which is a developmental problem in childhood.

In the second year after our marriage, for some reason, perhaps I couldn't bear the agony of loneliness. As an empty person, I had a confused relationship with a male colleague from my workplace, who was 6 years younger than me. After we developed for a period of time, I felt very guilty about doing so, so I voluntarily resigned and went to the job market to find a job. I tried to change myself. I originally wanted to follow my husband, and I would go wherever he was looking for a job, but he often changed places, and I couldn't adapt to this situation. I had to go back home and work again, and then I got along with this lover again. Let's continue this for about a year and a half.

In the past, to be honest, my feelings for my lover were optional, but later I became dependent and fell in love with him. I knew I was wrong in doing so, but I was still moving forward. Later on, I had a thorough conversation with my lover and I said that living like this was too tiring. If my husband and I were to divorce, could you marry me? He said no, because I am older than him and I am a divorced person. He cannot accept it, even if I have a car and a house, his family will not agree. I said I don't want to be so sneaky anymore. It's better for us to be lovers in the sunshine. He just said, isn't that good? Isn't this how many people in this society do it now? At that time, I was very disappointed and in great pain. Suddenly, I felt that he didn't understand me very well and that he hadn't taken me seriously in the past few years.

I really know I'm wrong now. I'm determined to break up with my lover. I want to step out and live a good life with my husband. He has always trusted me, but I'm very conflicted. I don't think I deserve to be with him anymore. What should I do?

reply:

1. Long term separation after marriage and no children, due to inner loneliness, emptiness, and coldness, may be the best reasons for women's infidelity, and indeed, they are objective incentives that lead to infidelity. But no matter what, when faced with a man or woman who is particularly kind, strong, and kind to oneself, how can you have the heart to betray your man? In fact, all the reasons cannot be used as excuses for cheating, otherwise, you will easily indulge in the wrong path and become a very scary person, which may even surprise you.

2. Sometimes people are like this, what is easily obtained is often not cherished, and when others treat you too well, you often don't take it seriously. You easily have a kind and virtuous husband, but you completely ignore his existence. Not only do you not cherish him, but you also give more emotions to other men, and what can that man give you? It's just a casual act. In the end, you had a real relationship with him, and he just used you as his bed mate. If you were really confused for a while, and if you could truly wake up, that would be great. Looking back in time, it may not be too late to stop the cliff.

3. After experiencing an unbearable experience, now that you know you are wrong and want to live a good life, let's witness it with practical actions! Love your husband well, cherish his kindness to you, and understand his hard work outside. In fact, it's not scary for a person to make mistakes, as long as they know their mistakes and can be corrected. So, there's no need to be too self blaming or obsessing. The most important thing for you is to transform such emotions into positive energy of love and pass it on to your husband, allowing time to forget and compensate.

4. For the success and stability of your marriage, find a way to have a child, or take your husband to the hospital for treatment, or if artificial insemination is not successful, even if you adopt a child. Otherwise, you really don't have anything to divert your attention, and your energy needs a positive way to release. Otherwise, you should cultivate your professional hobbies and do something truly meaningful, Anyway, don't put too much thought on the crooked ways again.