A third hand husband chased me crazily, but after eight years of sexless marriage with him

My husband works in a government agency. He has been divorced twice before, and after we met, he chased me crazy, and we got married in a flash. Afterwards, we often had arguments. Later on, I was very busy with business and didn't have time to take care of him. Later on, after I got pregnant, I kept separating beds, and he never asked me to live a married life. Later on, when the child was born, because there was no one in my family to help take care of the child, he asked me to stay at home full-time to take care of the child. At that time, my income was still very good. In order to take care of the child, he also argued with me several times and had a violent incident at home. My temper was also very urgent, giving people a strong feeling. Every time I argued, my family often talked about me. Later on, I gave up my business, but even so, we often had arguments. Every time he ran away from home, didn't answer the phone, didn't reply to messages, and the longest time he came home was nearly a month. During this period, he never asked me to live a married life.

In this way, after eight years of asexuality and the child being four years old, I felt that he was getting colder and colder towards me. Even if I said the wrong thing, it could be a reason for him to run away. It wasn't until one time when he said he was on a business trip and couldn't be reached on his phone that I asked his colleague and found out that he wasn't on a business trip with Ben. Later, I found out that he had taken a woman out with him, and I found many records of his room opening. Later, I gave some evidence that he admitted to having a room with someone, but said that the woman was in another city. In fact, I felt that she was nearby.

Afterwards, we had a quarrel, and his company also learned something. Calm down, I wanted to live with him, for the sake of the child, and for the sake of my love for him. He also promised that everything had been overturned, and I tried to change my irritable temper, but it was no use. He was still very cold to me, and I felt that he was still in contact with her. I asked someone to continue investigating. Later, I found out that woman, who was also married, and the child was over ten years old, From my husband's call list, they talk on more than ten phone calls every day, sometimes for half an hour. I can see that my husband is very attached to her. I want to have a good conversation with him, but he doesn't admit anything and has a bad attitude. I sent a message to the woman and she said she wants to accuse me of molesting her. Now my spirit is almost shattered. If it weren't for the child, I would have thought of death. Pang, what should I do? I feel like I won't come back even if I try my best. Is there only one way to go, divorce?

reply:

1. Generally speaking, men who have experienced several baptisms of marriage either demand too much emotionally, have too many personal problems, are mature and rational enough to cause fear, or are uncertain and particularly unreliable. The man you have chosen, who has experienced two marital conflicts and crazily pursued you after meeting you, indicates that this man is not a rational person, and you appear too blindly obedient under his strong attack, resulting in happiness coming and going quickly.

2. It can be said that flash marriage has always been risky, especially not suitable for people with a history of marriage to choose from. On the surface, people who have experienced marriage may cherish the hard-earned marriage life more. Once they encounter a like-minded person, they can hit it off and live in marriage, but in fact, it is far from that simple. Men or women who have been baptized by marriage are often either suspicious or impulsive, violent or reckless, indifferent or cautious. In short, they may exhibit various defects. Therefore, once they get married, they lack sufficient understanding and emotional foundation to support each other. After marriage, conflicts may erupt due to various trivial matters. In addition, those who have experienced marriage, If there is a bond with the children raised by their predecessors, the situation may become more complex, and if not handled properly, it can easily cause unnecessary trouble after remarriage.

3. From various situations, it can be seen that your third hand husband simply doesn't love you enough. It can be seen that the crazy pursuit of you was either a false impression or your own misjudgment. Regardless of the past and the present, he is obviously more energetic towards the woman outside marriage. Since he can solve his needs outside, naturally what he gives you is sexless marriage. Unfortunately, you can stick to sexless marriage for eight years, but when you try to correct yourself and choose to give in to humiliation in a marriage that exists in name only, in the end, it is still his indifference. For this, you feel like you can't hold on anymore. In the end, you have some small problems, he has his big problems. He is just a man who uses your small problems as an excuse to satisfy his selfishness and find reasons for indulging outside of marriage.

4. Since you already have evidence of his infidelity in your hands and know that you can't do anything to save his heart, there's no need to continue to be shameless, endure humiliation, and struggle. Knowing it's in vain, why waste your strength? Don't say you have a mental breakdown for him, what can you do if you die for him? Perhaps it's a better achievement for him, why be so foolish? Furthermore, women must remember that if their man is cheating, they must find the reason from their own man. Is it useful to find that mistress, except for being scolded, it doesn't have much effect. It doesn't sound good to say that one's own pig has stolen someone else's cabbage. Regardless of teaching one's own pig, are you still blaming someone else's cabbage?

5. The matter has come to an end, and the choice is still in your own hands. If you continue this marriage, what kind of day you will live is the most clear in your heart. When you are unable to change it, you can only change yourself; If you choose to divorce, you need to be fully prepared from now on, save the evidence, and think of various ways to retreat after divorce. The path of life can sometimes be so difficult, but no matter how difficult it is, we must move forward. Give yourself some strength and courage, no matter when it comes, keep yourself strong enough, and you will have the confidence to win.