Entering my wife's house and paying her monthly salary, but being criticized for being a soft eater, I angrily mentioned that my divorced wife had allowed me to leave the house clean

At the age of sixteen, I was still a teenager and saw those men who married their wives, holding their own wives and entering their new houses. I secretly dreamed that when I grew up, I would marry a goddess in my heart, and the wind and light would bring her into my door. Days pass silently, and ten years have passed in a blink of an eye. I have also reached the age of getting married. The changes in my family have forced me to bow down to real life.

We were originally a happy family of four. I had an older brother who was five years older than me. My parents were doing business and our family conditions were quite good. But there were unexpected circumstances. When I graduated at the age of 24, my father fell down due to a sudden illness. He is the backbone of our family, and his illness has been praised by our entire family. Leaving aside medical expenses, Dad's surgery alone costs over 300000 yuan.

My mother has been crying all day and has taken out her savings to treat my father's illness. She even had to take out the money she had originally planned to buy me a wedding house. But my father still couldn't hold on until the end, and after a year of treatment, he passed away. That's it, my family is down and out. From then on, I also became very negative. My mother and brother manage the business left by my father, while my sister-in-law takes care of the children at home. Originally, when I was in college, I talked about a girlfriend who left me when I was most disappointed. I am very negative and have no hope of getting married. Without a house, I feel very inferior.

During my work, I met my current wife. She is an only child and has good family conditions. She insists on dating me. I told her about my family background and she doesn't care, but there is one condition that I will join their family when I get married in the future. I am very reluctant, but considering the complexity of my family situation, it is already good enough for her not to dislike me. On the day of my wedding, my mother gave me 100000 yuan and asked me to give it to her. She said she couldn't gossip. My father spent all his savings and they also helped me borrow this 100000 yuan, which made me feel particularly uncomfortable.

After marriage, I gave this money to my wife in front of my mother-in-law's face. The two elderly people were very happy and felt that I was sincere. I found a sales job with a low base salary but a high commission. As long as I am willing to work hard, I can earn money quickly. I want to buy a house that belongs to my wife and me. I don't have the confidence to live with my mother-in-law. I discussed with my wife, and she also agreed to let me save my salary for her to buy a house in the future.

After three years of marriage, my wife gave birth to a daughter for me. However, she was spoiled and had no experience with raising children. My mother-in-law couldn't raise children due to her poor waist. I told my mother that she volunteered to take care of the baby. Not long after arriving at my house, I was ostracized by my wife and her family. She felt that my mother came from a small city and didn't take good care of her children. Especially my wife, who roundly accused my mother of being difficult to obey and being a rural person, angered her.

When I was about to leave, I gave my mother some money. My wife even scolded me when she found out, saying that I didn't get her permission because my money was hers. She advised me to report it to my mother-in-law for this matter. My mother-in-law also blamed me, saying that we are a family and don't carry her daughter behind our backs in the future. If we want to do it, we will have a bright future. I suddenly feel that this family is so cold. I gave my mother money, but was she still saying this?

For this, my wife and I argued endlessly, and she angrily cursed me for being a soft eater and being so arrogant. If it weren't for her, I would still be single. I have been hurt by her self-esteem. I give her my salary every month, and I have been married for three years, with a total of 200000 yuan. I have been talking about buying a house, but she has been procrastinating, saying that she will wait until she has a child. Now that the child is born, she is procrastinating and waiting for the child to grow older. Now that there's a fight, just scold me for being a soft eater. How can I swallow this breath.

I was so angry that I wanted a divorce. She realized my thoughts and poured cold water on it. "If you want a divorce, take your things and get out now. Don't even take a penny, including the children," she said. At that moment, I felt that she was so unfamiliar and indifferent. After three years of love, she evaluated and humiliated me like this, while her parents were so unreasonable. What am I still doing here?

reply:

As an intrusive man, various thoughts will lurk in your heart, and every word you say to your wife and her family will feel very sensitive. For example, giving money to your mother is human nature. It's normal for your parents to raise you and give you money, but your wife feels like you're giving it behind her back at this moment. If your explanation doesn't satisfy her, it will cause a series of unnecessary contradictions.

When people are angry, they can say anything harsh. You lose face and dignity, and feel that this family is so cold. These are all understandable. But when you think back, your wife chose you when you were in the most difficult situation. She couldn't say she didn't love you. Did she choose to marry you just to make you a burden? This doesn't make sense either.

So, it is inevitable for couples to argue. Calm down and communicate carefully, speak your heart, and let her understand the weight of her words in your heart. Let her realize the seriousness of the matter and be willing to correct it. You can continue to live a good life, not willing to do other calculations, and divorce as soon as you have a child is not a good phenomenon.