Recently, a certain social media released the "Love Report for the Year 2019 after 1995", expressing a series of opinions on the marriage age, consumption, material needs, and other aspects of the post-95s. This article invites Zheng Li, a contracted psychologist at the Mental Health Application Center of the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences, to interpret the relevant content.
Marriage age: 90% of boys accept love from their cousins. It is reported that the ideal age for marriage is 26.5 years old after 1995, and girls are more concerned about getting married before the age of 30 than boys. 90.7% of boys born in 1995 accepted the love of siblings, and the higher their education level and income, the higher their acceptance of love towards siblings.
In Chinese tradition, although there is a saying that women are young and hold bricks, in real marriages, most men are elderly. In addition, the stronger the social status and economic strength of men, the more secure women feel. This marriage age data reflects the deepening of gender equality and the fact that women are more economically independent than ever before. Zheng Li explained that women of the same age are more mature than men. Women who are older than men are more mature, rational, tolerant, and understanding in marriage, which is also an important reason for many men to accept sibling love.
But Zheng Li also suggests that in sibling relationships, regardless of the age difference, women need a sense of physical and psychological security. Therefore, men need to constantly learn and grow, become responsible, and make this relationship more stable.
Consumption: Women are more concerned about each other's income and need a sense of security. Compared to boys, girls born in 1995 have higher requirements for their spouse's income. Nearly 40% of girls hope to have a monthly income of over 10000 yuan for their lovers. On the contrary, 57.2% of boys have no specific requirements for their girlfriends' monthly income. The report also raises a question: 'Who pays for dating two people?'. More and more girls are willing to share the cost of dating or take turns paying, while most boys believe that dating should be paid by boys.
In recent years, the "love economy" has gradually emerged in national consumption. The post-95 generation grew up in a relatively favorable environment and knew almost nothing about consumption, which indirectly reflects their willingness to spend money for their partners.
Zheng Li believes that in different relationships, both parties have different economic and physiological requirements for each other, and they need to listen to each other's voices. If a girlfriend has requirements for her income, a man will first see if he can achieve them. If he cannot achieve it in the near future, he can also listen to his girlfriend's advice or look forward to it together. In fact, the requirement of monthly income is only a manifestation of women's sense of security, and more importantly, both parties should work together to cope with everything.
Love: I still believe in love at first sight and prefer online dating over dating. Among the post-95s, 79.5% believe in love at first sight, with boys believing more in love at first sight than girls. After 995, 66.2% of people believe that online dating is more effective than dating. Part of the reason is that many parents nowadays prefer authoritarian rule and have a strong desire to control their children. They hope that their children will live according to their own wishes. Most of the matches they seek for their children are based on their own standards and rarely seek their opinions. Making friends online can give them full autonomy.
Zheng Li believes that although online dating is beautiful, appropriate measures should be taken. Many people who chat online are disappointed when they meet. The internet has covered a veil over "love", but young people must first uncover this veil and understand people in real life, such as their educational background, family environment, and work background, before falling in love, in order to make love safer.
Marriage: Women have higher requirements for owning a wedding room. Nowadays, many people consider the issue of 'house and car' before getting married. The survey found that female users have higher requirements for wedding rooms. 81.6% of women believe that they must have a house when getting married, while only 44.8% of men believe that they must have a house when getting married. Zheng Li believes that housing is not the standard of marriage, but mutual understanding and respect. Usually, men in their twenties do not have accumulated social experience and may not earn a high salary when starting work. They must now have a house, which undoubtedly exacerbates their estrangement. Therefore, in terms of marriage, both parties should not only do their best in material terms, but also increase spiritual understanding and communication, so that love and marriage can have a long way to go.